Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Is love unconditional?

Is there such a thing? People say that a mother's love is unconditional or God's love is unconditional. Unconditional love meaning love that has no expectations, love that just gives without accepting anything in return.

I have had countless arguments with people when they say that there is such a thing as unconditional and used to be told to wait till I was a mother to experience this phenomenon.

Well, I waited but still haven't reached any such conclusion. I feel a love for Aleyna beyond anything I have ever felt for anyone but then she is such a joy to me. Her smile when she sees my face in the morning literally makes my heart melt. But I still can't say it's unconditional as she give me love in return. I live for the new things she does and how she's growing a bit everyday.

With unconditional love you are not supposed to expect anything from the person you love, keep giving even when you don't get anything in return. It's true that only a parent gives more than they receive and they want the best for their child before themselves. A parent's love might be as close to unconditional love as one can get but nonetheless there are conditions attached to it. There is always an expectation, expectation that you will be a 'good' child. Expectations that change with time and some that are unconscious.

Unconditional love is a myth. You may fool yourself into thinking that you are loving unconditionally and don't want anything in return but that's not the truth. Even if you convince yourself that your love is unconditional and that you don't want anything for yourself, it might be the fact that it makes you feel good about yourself to feel like you have boundless love that doesn't want anything in return. Conditions always exist, some that might not be apparent to even yourself.

When we say we love someone unconditionally we are saying that we love the person for just 'being' and not 'doing'. We are deserving of love by just being a creation of God, that is enough of a reason to have intrinsic value independant of our actions. I can't wrap by head around that.

Because God too has conditions attached to our behaviour, what are the ten commandments if not conditions?