Thursday, July 14, 2011

Simplifying - not so simple

I truly believe that when you need some change in your life and you want it desperately enough the entire universe helps you onto the path. I have been suffocating under the pile of too much stuff - from text books that are no longer needed to jeans that I don't fit into anymore, in the hope of wearing them when I lose the post-baby weight .
Getting rid of everything has always been so difficult for me - I am a hoarder. W hen we moved countries it took more than four weeks just to clear up the clutter even then it wasn't done. I have some of my school books in my moms house, books from when I was in grade 6. So it is a chronic condition. I don't want to pass this onto my kids. I want them to grow up with a clear mind which is uncluttered - because I believe gathering clutter is a mental condition a deep insecurity that if you throw something out you will need and you will be stranded if it isn't there anymore. But knowing the reason for something doesn't mean that you can fix it. But I am trying.
So when I came across the website of Raelee Pierce and it led me to the journey of less, I truly believe it was in answer to my private supplication to be able to have a clearer head - to be able to breathe through the clutter of thoughts [which I am convinced will lessen if I can get rid of my hoard]
The journey started because I had been finding myself constantly yelling at my little girl feeling anger as she hit her infant brother and sometimes even rage at what I perceived to be her uncontrollable behavior. And one day as I yelled at her and saw her face harden my heart stopped, I knew this was one of the most precious relationship of my life and I didnt want to ruin it. So I went on a desperate search on the internet for help [strange as I avoid self help books] But I knew I needed help and doing it online would be the easiest. I had a free phone call session with Raelee and then she sent me a brochure about a summer 7 week session which involved reading a book, I pondered, not knowing whether it would work for me, but then thought what the heck. So I signed up and it brought me the book
When I came to the chapter on simplifying - it was like the universe had give me a massive kick on the rear end to get up and just let go - let go of stuff - let go off insecurities, let go of the fear of being lacking....
Well it has been only a couple of days but I threw away all the countess dvds and cds which hadn't been touched for years and which had followed me from one country to another