Sunday, August 16, 2009

Status updates in Facebook....

One of the most fun things about Facebook leaving aside the voyeuristic aspect which is a necesary part of the process, are the status updates.

They are not only a barometer to measure the 'status' of the person in question [a mini blog in itself] but also lead to interesting conversations much like the comment threads in blogs.

Often times you can tell who is fighting with whom and the undertones of what is not said tells so much more. The passion with which some make declarations of love and hate, bitter remonstrations, public displays of affection and lifetime achievements or the dull drudge of daily life are all part and parcel of this wonderful vehicle.

In any case I am digressing as usual - this is one of my status update and following comments which lead me to thinking... I think maybe first you should read for yourself.

Amber Azam-Kureshi's reflecting... There can be no happiness without the courage to deconstruct... that's why I suppose there are not too many truly happy contented people around

Friend #1
"sometimes the deconstruction isnt in ure if u were to deconstruct maybe u would have done it differently????and hence it requires luck then anything else...."

Friend # 2
"well i have spent the last few years deconstructing.. so i warmly await happiness as my reward"

Friend #3
"Luck, fate, coincidences..are misconception of our times. Believing in the above will result in a life tossed and turned by its conditions. Aim for a life where you dictate your circumstances..We make our own destiny!

“Increase your selflessness to such heights that before creating each destiny, God himself will have to ask the human “What is your opinion about this”.

Each and every one of us has to deconstruct in our life time, some do it knowingly and others in ignorance.

Who says that we have to wait for happiness or, go through the deconstruction phase being unhappy? Accepting the good and the not soo good from the divine with gratitudet will generate this content/happiness... Believe me, God has a clear plan for us!
"God does not play dice" Albert Einstein

Amber Azam-Kureshi
"When I was talking about deconstruct there was a clear distinction between ‘destroy' and 'deconstruct' sometimes we have to methodically and brick by brick take care of the excess we have accumulated - whether it is in material goods or emotional hang ups or misconceptions about the routes to happiness or what the world thinks constitutes as right or wrong.Sometimes we have to take chance and risks to make drastic paradigm shifts only then do we find out that what we previously thought we couldn’t live without or die for, doesn’t have the importance we give it.
And clutter does come in the way of happiness".

I have been thinking about this conversation in the midst of nappy changes and food wars and have concluded that yes it is not merely semantic there is a clear distinction and that lies in the method and rationality involved. To destroy somehow implies to emotionally ransack its irrational and thoughtless whereas deconstruction would be very logical, cold and ruthless

Even the words echo their delivery!

PS: Doesn't the word destiny imply that it is not in your hands?????

Sunday, August 9, 2009


Hi everybody, I have been the proverbial cry wolf, so won't even try to say that I am back. But was missing all the amazing people I have met during blogging so thought I'd stop and say hello. Part of the reason I have been so irregular is that all my day is spent with Aleyna and I hardly get time, when she goes to sleep there seems to be a whole other life to catch up on. But another part of the reason is that I feel that all words have dried up and I seem to only be able to talk about toddler menus and all things baby related - I must admit I have become totally one dimensional, I guess this is what happens after you have a baby. Even as I write Aleyna has managed to delete every word I wrote, thank God for the control z, button.

Being responsible for another human being is an awesome responsibility and an unbelievable pressure, you spent half of your time feeling guilty and the other feeling half quite proud of yourself. I honestly think us moms can be quite full of ourselves. I do this and this for my baby do you do it too? Everyone actually thinks they are the best parent and worst parent at different times.

Most other moms you meet are silently sizing up you and your tot and consciously and unconsciously you are doing the same. How much does she weigh, has she started walking? when did yours get her teeth and how many, do you feed her or has she learnt to self feed, etc etc. But somehow you don't mind being asked or asking. It is a club and you automatically belong. There is an openness and compassion, because each knows how tough it is to raise a little one and that you finally realize we all do the best that we can and that is all that matters. Doing the best you can.

Even if you have had problems fitting in with people all your life, or felt a square peg amidst round, a baby immediately standardizes and uniformizes you. Or at least that is what happened to me, and somehow where I once took pride in being 'different' now I don't mind being the same.