Monday, April 30, 2007

Alexander McCall Smith

He is one of the most wonderful, funny, compassionate writers that I've had the pleasure to read. His tone is gentle & ironic, full of good humor, directed towards his spirited, intelligent heroines and their unique take on life. These novels take you into a warm and inviting world wherever they are set, whether in Scotland or Botswana, the characters embrace you and become a part of your life - more real to you than some flesh and blood people you know.

One set of his books is set in Botswana - 'The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency' - it is a series of seven books now 8 and the protagonist is Precious Ramotswe, the cheerful 'traditionally built' African woman who is intelligent, perceptive with her flaws but oh so lovable, she sets herself up as her country's first female detective. She has an innate, self-possessed wisdom that, combined with an understanding of human nature, invariably penetrates into the heart of a puzzle. Precious Ramotswe is a remarkable creation, and and all the books following it deserve the praise and adulation that he has received from all his readers who love them as if they were real.

Mr Smith brings to canvas an Africa that is remarkably different to the ones painted in our minds - images of famine and privation, Mr McCall Smith' Africa is rich in tones, warm with beautiful people who welcome you into their hearts and hearth. The reader will be absorbed into Mma Ramotswe love for Africa and feel it pulsating within him/her, her wisdom her humor leap out of the pages as she uses her life experiences to bring light on others' problems. Her tiny white van, her love of bush tea, the apprentices and their vain preening, Mma Katusi and her 97% from the Botswana Secretarial College, are images that invariably bring a smile on the face. This series is as 'precious' as the name of its main protagonist.

And the other series I love by him are the 'Isabel Dalhousie Novels' in which the protagonist, Isabel Dalhousie, is the charming intrepid well-intentioned editor of the Review of Applied Ethics. She does not actively seek out trouble, but her inability to ignore those in need invariable draws her into peculiar situations. She finds herself constantly analyzing other people's problems, she is an altogether too morally sound woman, who sometimes becomes not a little annoying with her insistence on doing the right thing which leads her to get involved in affairs that have not much to do with her except she think 'moral proximity' makes it incumbent on us to do the right thing. We go through with her through a journey of what is right and what is wrong, her moral dilemmas when she falls for the much younger ex-boyfriend of her niece.

Set in Edinburgh, the 3 novels in this series take us through the streets of Scotland on sunny days and days with unpredictable weather and rain, just as we meandered in the dusty lanes of Botswana we lose ourselves in the quaint cobblestoned streets of Scotland with its bars and its art galleries as we walk with our heroine as she ponders over life's many philosophical issues, we are invited into her home where we meet Grace her outspoken maid with well-established views. And we fall a little in love ourselves with Jamie, the much younger bassoon player with his en-brosse hair, who Isabel falls in love with despite all efforts to the contrary. We sit with her in her niece's charming delicatessen and can almost picture her niece's timid assistant, Eddie who has had some traumatic incident in life which we never find out, we know intimately her niece's attraction to all the wrong sorts of men and of course we come to love Mr. Fox, a wild fox in Isabel's garden who forays for food and is subject to much contemplation by Isabel. These and more images stay with us the readers well beyond the final page. I could go on and on about these characters I have read and re-read the books

I have heard the audiobooks repeatedly, they are not just characters in a book they are people Mr McCall Smith has befriended us to and he faithfully writes about them regularly otherwise we would be totally bereft! Book 8 in the No.1 ladies Detective Agency called 'The Good Husband of Zebra Drive' was released this month and is fantastic to say the least and Mr Smith in his forum has said that the fourth Isabel novel will come out by Autumn. Yay!

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Childhood's End

When we are kids all of us have such big dreams - there is no possibility of failure. We all genuinely think we are capable of anything. Nothing is impossible

And as we grow, we are taught to fear. It starts with the bogeyman and then we are given little capsules of fear intermittently... 'Don't talk to strangers', 'Don't touch this or...', 'Don't misbehave or' etc etc.

Slowly our invincibility diminishes and we learn that we are capable of failure. And as time passes it grows worse ... there are no more 'happy ever-afters' to believe. There is no certainty that the bad guys will be punished - there is no more contentment in having a beautiful doll house.

So what happens to us - what kills our immortality? Is it growing up or is it not keeping that child alive by sometimes making horrendous mistakes?

Being foolish - being a kid. Believing even when we fail.

Just keeping on moving not to reach a destination but to enjoy the road!

The Secret for longevity ;)

A passerby noticed an old lady sitting on her front step. He asked her, "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look! What is your secret for such a long happy life?

I smoke 4 packets of cigarettes a day" she said. "Before I go to bed I smoke a nice big joint.Apart from that I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every week, and eat only junk food. On weekends I pop a huge number of pills and no exercise at all".

"This is absolutely amazing at your age", says the passerby. "How old are you?

Twenty four!

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Appearances can be deceptive

You know those moments when you when you get struck my an amazing revelation actually realization is a better word. There is a clarity to your thoughts and you actually feel like you have evolved a little more. Well I just love those moments. They are your personal truth other people might have had the same discovery long ago and when you tell them they might look at you as if to say, 'well of course, whats new about that. Its so simple'. But still to you that discovery whatever it may be is new. I'm digressing again.

I had my moment of truth a few weeks ago, we had gone out with friends and some other of their friends had joined the party. There was this girl who I always used to think was a bit snobbish and reserved because she was really intelligent and had a fantastic job. To be honest I felt a bit intimidated by her. My problem is the first impression people have of me is that I'm a silly frivolous girl who's only interested in fashion and has a brain of a poodle, the fact that I used to be in the media doesn't help. I don't correct this impression. In fact its fun to play that role.
Anyway I always thought that she thought I was not up to her mark or whatever... somehow that day we got talking. And to my utter amazement I find out that she thought the exact thing I did i.e. she thought that I thought of her as plain and boring.

So this super successful girl who looks like nothing ever fazes her was insecure as well. We all are but we don't show it, in our effort to hide it we disguise it behind a lot of different things, for some it's arrogance,, for some it is humor and some hide behind a super confident persona. But inside we are seeking others approval and yet at the same time telling ourself that we don't care what others might think of us.

I sat there reeling...we never realize that the person who appears really confident in front of us and who we think is giving us an attitude might be feeling the exact same thing we are.

So the next time we get intimidated by someone or are ready to make a judgment, we should take a moment and think that maybe they are feeling the exact same thing - may be they are nervous about our impression of them as well. Just because someone looks perfect doesn't mean that they feel the same way inside. A lot of times really pretty people genuinely see themselves as ordinary looking, a lot of really intelligent people think of themselves as average [I have a friend who I think is super brilliant but she honestly doesn't see that about herself]

So appearances can be deceptive... to end with yet another cliche it is always advisable to put yourself in the other person's shoes. Even if they look like they may not fit!

Thursday, April 26, 2007

The Myth of Sisyphus - Wow what a piece of writing

I had this book for a long time but somehow I used to find it a daunting task to start reading it. I had made up my mind that I wouldn't understand it. But one day I turned a page. And that was it. I think there is a specific time that you are meant to read a book and books are magical that way, until you are ready somehow or the other you won't read it. I read it and Camus' writing took my breath away.

Sisphyus was a greek hero who was punished by the Gods to ceaselessly roll a rock up a slope and just when he had reached the top after hours and hours of labour the rock would slide down. Imagine pushing up a heavy rock knowing that as soon as you got to the top it would roll down and you would have to start pushing it all over again. And you will have to do do this over and over.

We know the rock will inevitably roll down, and that when we come down after it, we will come to the moment of decision and consciousness when we have to make a choice... give in to the Absurd and let the rock rest or strive for our human dignity and begin rolling the rock up the hill again. So long as we are rolling the rock we are not defeated, and there is human dignity in the world.

Camus relates this to the struggle we face in life but what makes this struggle different is the hero's total acceptance of his fate, his rebellion of his very fate. The central conclusion is that just because life is meaningless does not mean that it is bad. Our salvation lies in our attitude.

"You have already grasped that Sisyphus is the absurd hero. He is, as much through his passions as through his torture. His scorn of the gods, his hatred of death, and his passion for life won him that unspeakable penalty in which the whole being is exerted toward accomplishing nothing. This is the price that must be paid for the passions of this earth." [excerpt]

The Myth of Sisyphus expounds Albert Camus's notion of the absurd and of its acceptance with "the total absence of hope, which has nothing to do with despair, a continual refusal, which must not be confused with renouncement - and a conscious dissatisfaction". This is where Camus introduces the Absurd, and his equally famous image of life as a Sisyphean struggle.

"At the very end of his long effort measured by skyless space and time without depth, the purpose is achieved. Then Sisyphus watches the stone rush down in a few moments toward that lower world whence he will have to push it up again toward the summit. He goes back down to the plain. It is during that return, that pause, that Sisyphus interests me. A face that toils so close to stones is already stone itself! I see that man going back down with a heavy yet measured step toward the torment of which he will never know the end. That hour like a breathing-space which returns as surely as his suffering, that is the hour of consciousness. At each of those moments when he leaves the heights and gradually sinks toward the lairs of the gods, he is superior to his fate. He is stronger than his rock". [excerpt]

To know that what one is doing will result in eventual failure yet to keep doing it because of the acceptance of one's fate and one's punishment, to be conscious of impending failure yet continue - and thats Sisyphus' crowning moment - his exultant defiance in the face of all odds. He is in control, he's been handed his punishment but he's not asked for mercy he's accepted and goes on, on the path of his destiny. The only master of his fate!

All Sisyphus' silent joy is contained therein. His fate belongs to him. His rock is his thing. Likewise, the absurd man, when he contemplates his torment, silences all the idols. In the universe suddenly restored to silence, the myriad wondering little voices of the earth rise up. Unconscious, secret calls, invitations from all the faces, they are the necessary reverse and price of victory. there is no sun without shadow, and it is essential to know the night. The absurd man says yes and his effort will henceforth be unceasing. If there is a personal fate, there is no higher destiny, or at least there is but one which he concludes is inevitable and despicable. For the rest, he knows himself to be the master of his days". [excerpt]

Ultimately whether you agree with the writer or not the essence of it lies in the total rebellious acceptance of life and all its toil and sadness and burdens. As Camus ends this particular essay...

"I leave Sisyphus at the foot of the mountain! One always finds one's burden again.
But Sisyphus teaches the higher fidelity that negates the gods and raises rocks. He
too concludes that all is well. This universe henceforth without a master seems to him neither sterile nor futile. Each atom of that stone, each mineral flake of that night-filled mountain, in itself forms a world. The struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man's heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy". [excerpt]

No matter how tough life gets the beauty and nobility of life lies in how we face it. It is possible to find joy and find God... everything lies in the struggle and how much truth and meaning we bring to it.

Myth of Sisyphus is written by Albert Camus. Albert Camus was a French-Algerian journalist, playwright, novelist, writer of philosophical essays, and Nobel laureate. Through his literary works and in numerous reviews, articles, essays, and speeches Camus made important, forceful contributions to a wide range of issues in moral philosophy – from terrorism and political violence to suicide and the death penalty. In awarding him its prize for literature in 1957, the Nobel committee cited the author’s persistent efforts to “illuminate the problem of the human conscience in our time,” and it is pre-eminently as a writer of conscience and as a champion of imaginative literature as a vehicle of philosophical insight and moral truth that Camus was honored by his own generation and is still admired today

Laughter - the Best Medicine

They say smiling is infectious.... since I'm in need of smiles around me I thought what better way to have them then spread them. Hope this brings a smile to someone's face somewhere!

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Sky Divin' - My Awesome Adventure [videographed for posterity]

Had gone skydiving a while back - it was the most amazing experience of my life!

The moment of the jump just 2 secs of being scared then a pure adrenaline rush. Strongly recommended for everyone. Better than any drug I'm sure...

I'm going to start taking lessons so I can do it alone, the first jump is always with an instructor strapped to your back... makes it less scary. Just waiting for my MBA to get over!

When you jump out of the plane face forward, there is a whooshing sound and pressure, your ears are blocked and you are going absolutely crazy with pure energy, pure excitement. Your heart is pounding and your head throbbing with excitement. And then when the chute goes up and you straighten into position it's like time shifts and the atmosphere changes, the speed melts into a wonderful stillness, the mad rush settles into a slow roll and you’re up above the fu**ing clouds.

It is awesome

Tuesday, April 24, 2007


A koala is sitting up a gumtree smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past and looks up and says "Hey Koala ! what are you doing?"

The koala says: "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."

So the little lizard climbs up and sits next to the koala and they have a few joints.

After a while the little lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river.

But the little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.

A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the little lizard: "What's the matter with you?"

The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.

The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the rain forest, finds the tree where the koala is sitting finishing a joint, and he looks up and says "Hey you!"

So the koala looks down at him and says

"Fucccccccccck much water did you drink?!!"

Is Ignorance Bliss?

The more you think the unhappier you get?????

For me the answer to this question has always been in the affirmative. Ever since my teens I have been racking my brains trying to find answers to countless questions. At the time most girls think only of make up and the next cute guy, one of my best friends [the both of us now share a blog called 'Circle of Friends'] and I would be sitting and discussing the moral fibre of everyone we knew and of course the eternal question 'what is the purpose of life'. We did the regular girlie things as well, but meaningful discourse was a great part of my life then [not that it isn't now but sadly the meeting with like-minded people has been limited]. Maybe this exercise in blogging will change that.

Now after years comes the realization that the key to being happy may lie in not thinking, being unaware. You must have met so many people who are happy and cheerful because they never think about the 'human condition' or questions like 'why are people so afraid of doing the right thing?' 'Are values inborn? if yes then how come two siblings can have a whole different set of values that shape them as a human being?' And a host of other questions.

But I also know for a fact I wouldn't trade my thoughts for ignorant bliss although sometimes I wonder if that's a wise thing! For me it's actually a lot of fun thinking about... rambling on and on and discussing these questions with the few similarly disposed-to-mental-agonizing people that I meet, albeit very infrequently. It's the most fun I have. There's nothing like sitting with friends or strangers and letting your mind go and talking and discussing... it's amazing how many facets you discover about yourself.

But unfortunately now people are afraid to talk about anything meaningful, in this world of mass production and fast churning out of products that we live in, the only thing people want to discuss is the next fashion to be heralded in, the best car to have or the swanky parties to go to. [Maybe I ain't meeting the right people:(]

Anyway coming back to the original question. What should ultimately be the goal to life... to have all the answers? to find the ultimate meaning of existence? Feel proud of your mental exercises? be a mental snob or just be happy?
Sometimes I simply don't know the answer.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Rolls Royce - from the cocktail bible

Hardly surprising, several classic cocktails have been named after this classic marque. This version was created by author H.E.Bates in his popular novel, 'The Darling Buds of May'.

Serves 1
4-6 cracked ice cubes
Dash of orange bitters
2 measures DRY VERMOUTH
1 measure DRY GIN
1 measure Scotch whiskey

(1) Put the cracked ice cubes into a mixing glass. Dash the bitters over the ice
(2) Pour the vermouth, gin whisky over the ice and stir to mix. Strain into a chilled cocktail glass


Rolls Royce [second version]: Put 4-6 ice cubes into a mixing glass. Pour 3 measures gin, 1 measure SWEET VERMOUTH, 1/4 teaspoon BENEDICTINE over the ice. Stir well to mix then strain into a chilled cocktail glass.

American Rolls Royce: Put 4-6 ice cubes into a cocktail shaker. Pour 2 measures brandy, 2 measures orange juice and 1 measure trible sec over the ice. Shake until a frost forms. Strain into a chilled cocktail glass.

Bentley: Put 4-6 ice cubes into a mixing glass. Pour 2 measures Calvados and 1 measure red Dubonnet over the ice. Stir well. Strain into a chilled cocktail glass and decorate with a twist of lemon peel.

Golden Cadillac: 4-6 ice cubes into a cocktail shaker. Pour 1 measure triple sec, 1 measure Galliano and 1 measure single cream over the ice. Shake vigorously until a frost forms. Strain the mixture into a chilled cocktail glass.

Did you know?
Writer & cocktails seem to have an affinity
H.E. Bates invented other besides the
Rolls Royce; Raymond Chandler wrote
fondly of Gimlet; Scott Fitzgerald
evoked the glamour of cocktail
society in 'The Great Gatsby'.
Even Lord Byron said his inspiration
stemmed from gin and water


The desire for possession is insatiable, to such a point that it can survive even love itself. To love, therefore is to sterilize the person one loves
- Albert Camus

How brutal yet how honest! These lines by Camus got me thinking about the thin line between love and possession. It's an incredible art form and a stringent discipline to love someone yet let him or her have the freedom to be. It's so easy to be possessive - to want someone you love to be a slave to your emotions or have them feel for you just as strongly as you feel for them and in the same way.

It's tough to realize that we all have different ways of loving and different doesn't mean less. So many of us make our self miserable thinking that the object of our affections does not love us with the same intensity as we do. That they may exist in a world without us, that the sun will continue to rise if we weren't there. That life would go on without us, because isn't it true that we want the person we love, to be incapacitated without us, completely helpless and lost – unable to go on?

That is the ultimate proof that someone loves us. Of course not everybody is like this.

I used to be but I can proudly say that I have changed, still regress at times but much improved. It took strict endeavor and deep introspection, and of course life happens and changes so many of our perspectives. Sometimes it turns a full 360 degrees and takes us to the spot that we were before and makes us stand on the opposite side, holds out a mirror and we gasp. Only when our actions are reflected in the other person do we realize.

It's strange how when we fall in love with someone it's because of who they are and as soon as we have them we immediately start trying to change them.

To love someone is to be incredibly brave, brave enough to give them the space they need to be who they are and not possessing them so completely that they lose themselves.

I wonder where it starts?
The possessiveness. Is it a lack of belief in our self?
Do we think that until and unless we own someone completely where they only see us and close themselves to the rest of the world, we'll lose them?

In this way I think marriage is the trickiest institution because the lines are very thin... how possessive can you be and how possessive should you be? Or should you be at all.

I guess this is where trust comes in but a lack of trust sometimes is not because of what the other person has done it stems out of one's own insecurities.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

On the Inside

It's funny how everything begins inside... the same set of circumstances can have you feel totally different depending on what's going on inside of you!

The same thing that could bring you immense joy can at times leave you stone cold, totally untouched and something that made you extremely sad and broke your heart could could have absolutely no effect whatsoever.

So if only we could learn to control the thermostat inside of us, where all feelings originate life would be so much easier. It's much like physical pain - where you actually feel the pain is your head not the area where you are hurt, that's why lepers can feel no pain because the sensors that carry the message to the brain are impaired. Not that I'm saying that we should become emotional lepers or anything like that. Perhaps a tad control freakish would be good though!

My dad always gave me one piece of advice [God give him a long, happy life] never make a decision when under the sway of emotions. In throes of extreme passion we all almost always make decisions we shouldn't or do things that we later regret. Bitterly!

Because when that passion simmers, and simmer it will as passion by its very definition is not made to last, reason will prevail. So if your decision is not made at the moment of rationality you're screwed.

Inside all of us are rational so it makes sense to wait for the high of emotions to come down before making any sort of decision because it's only then that we can see how we really truly feel about something.

Because in life everything passes all emotions come to rest, so give yourself breathing space and time before you leap!

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

A Symbiotic Relationship!!!

In a conversation a long time ago, it suddenly came up that the only person we love is ourselves.

Think about it! Why do we love others.... because they make us feel good about ourselves.

They endorse our belief in ourselves. Their love and acceptance tell us 'oh we are good, that's why so an so loves me'.

We are always seeking redemption and justification and approval and a loved one gives us that.

Now we are not really being selfish the person who loves us is fulfilling this function for us and alternately we are for them.

So parasitic it might be but not totally selfish.

This is one of the empty spaces that i am always trying to fill... what is the definition of love and is love selfless.

If anything were selfless that would mean it's without a self and how can love be love if it didn't have a self?

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Some cute pics

Me and my Babies
Oh how I ADORE cats and how I miss mine!

Letter to Proctor and Gamble: Truly Hilarious

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core(tm) or Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"?

I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from "Aunt Flo". Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behaviour. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women.

In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... which brings me to the reason for my letter.

Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words:

"Have a Happy Period."

Are you f**** kidding me?

What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness - is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James?

FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like
"Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong",
or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullsh**.

And that's a promise I will keep...


Wendi Aarons
Austin , TX

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

The importance of having a diary!

I was reading this great book called 'Madame Proust and the Kosher Kitchen' a bit reminscent of Michael Cunningham's 'The Hours' in which he links Virginia Woolf and two of her readers interconnected intrinsically to each other, who are affected by her life and and her writing to the extent that it shapes their life and their tragedies. In Madame Proust the writer profiled is the great Marcel Proust, whom we get to know through the diary of his mother Jeanne Proust. It is her story and the story of two other women - the story tracks the prosecution of Jews in Europe, the events start from 1891 and we glimpse those through the eyes of Jeanne Proust as she worries about her son Marcel his activities his ill health and his vocation choices [ ironically not knowing what a great writer he will one day be] a woman who is translating her diaries and the woman who is the mother of the translators ex boy friend. I haven't yet finished the book but it's very delicately written and assails the senses and transports you into the atmosphere like Proust does. Anyway I have totally digressed from the point of this blog which was not to review the book but to make a resolution [which I have made thousands of times before] to start writing in my diary. Memory is the most ephemeral and easily lost of all things we have. When we go through any experience till its fresh in our minds we think we will never forget just as the way we are almost immortal in our own eyes [who honestly thinks they could die in this instant?] we think we will remember but when we try to remember things even just a year past they are faint traces, no more! SO I MUST START A DIARY!

Tuesday, April 10, 2007


I got into this horrid catfight this Friday. Some skank [seriously she was] who took an immediate dislike to me and I think on some level I to her.

We were at a great club its on the roof of a hotel and is called 360 degrees as it is round... there are casual sofas and bean bags around, there is a bar and a dance floor the hotel overlooks the bay and is pretty scenic!

Pretty awesome. Picure below

So this girl was dancing by this sofa for quite a bit and then she moved on and left for the dance floor [I presume]. I thought she had left so we took over the table as by now it was empty, this is a club folks and a casual one. Anyway Lady Macbeth came back to the table and lost it when she saw us sitting there, as we were a group of girls and this one seemed the insecure sort who don't want any competition around.

I hate confrontations and am in fact bit of coward when it comes to physical violence. Just love watching it [Kill Bill's one of my favs] but not indulging in it...but this girl's attitude just pissed me off real bad. So I asked her had she paid for the table [as there are no reservations] Anyway to cut a long story sort we got into a semi-massive fight. No punches were thrown but she scratched my arm and I called her a 'ugly skank'.

So this got me into thinking...

There are some people that we immediately take a liking to, it’s instinctive and on the other hand we meet some people that we just can’t abide.

And this is all in the first meeting; I’m talking about our instinctive reactions, which are not based on experience.

I wonder why this is?

Maybe before we came into this world we existed as thoughts in God’s mind, similar thoughts are of course bunched together and they stay on the same wavelength and opposing thoughts would of course be on a different length.

So that moment of familiarity is because as thoughts we knew each other and now on some primitive level we recognize that connection and of course the vice versa for people who just raise our heckles.

Just a thought!!!

Thursday, April 5, 2007

Aromatherapy - Lavender Essential Oil

I have exams in a couple of weeks and of course when one has an exam everything seems far more interesting then studying.
Anyway this post is about aromatherapy and how fantastic it is. Essential oils work, I've tried and tested them. They work as a beauty treatment, they work therapeutically and of course they are amazing mood relaxants [not sure about the spelling here]
After doing so many damn papers I'm so tempted to start with a paragraph introducing aromatherapy and its roots, but I am going to control myself.
Need a moment here!
Okay got the urge under control but it was tough. I am rambling again so I'm going to get back to the point of the post.
Out of all of the essential oils Lavender is the easiest to use and the most versatile one. One of the few that you can apply directly to your skin without mixing it with a base oil. It is a very good sedative and has antiseptic properties.
And for all my fellow insomniacs out there, a drop on your pillow or diluted in a bath, Lavender helps to sleep.
It is excellent as a headache remedy, my mom suffers from migraines and a massage with Lavender helps her a lot. It is amazing for burns and insect bites too.
If you suffer from acne add 8 drops of lavender to 20 ml of carrier oils [can be wheatgerm,sweet almond, soya oil and many other] and give yourself a face massage followed by a toner and a face mask.
Note: if skin is very inflamed then don't massage just dab.

Basic Toner:
Essential Oils
25 drops [you can choose from up to 4 oils]
100 ml distilled or flower water
1. Pour the water into a large, sterilized dark bottle. Add the essential oils and allow to stand for a month shaking often.
If this seems too much work you can use any other gentle toner

Basic Fruit or yoghurt Face Mask:
Essential oils:
1 drop
For base:
You can use 1 tablespoon ripe fruit or 1 teaspoon plain yoghurt
1. Mash the fruit and sieve into a small bowl. If using yoghurt spoon it into a bowl
2. Add the essential oil and mix well
3. Apply the mask to clean skin avoiding the eye area.
4. Wash after 10 minutes

P.S. I have this mask on as I write


Can you pinpoint the moment you were happy?
Can you even remember it?
And what is happiness?
A sense of possibility?
Of omnipotence and potential?
A promise of things to come?
Do we analyze it so much... .. that we miss the moment?
Can this be happiness?
Just moments?
Just the pureness of an ephereal moment?

Boy! do I feel low

So I was just checking out some other blogs and my self confidence right now is like below freezing. Man they are so good. They make the most ordinary events exciting and fun to read about.
Events which if I were to write about would garner responses such as, 'Yes and your point is?' or 'why are you telling me this', 'you're not very funny' etc. Okay so you get the point.
Its pretty crappy that I am not exceptional at whatever I like. That sucks!
As a kid I wanted to be a world famous pianist with visions of people thunderously applauding at the end of a virtuoso performance.
Or a painter with my work the talk of the town.
Or a singer with the voice of nightingale.... a voice that Keats would wax lyricals over.
Or a raging beauty that women were jealous of and men lusted after.
But it didn't happen. Nah!
So I decided that I would do nothing at all - mediocrity is death
Actually I lied... I am exceptional at one thing. I'm an exceptional Drama Queen.

P.S. So my strategy is to do nothing at all

P.S [afterthought]: Except I am doing something.. I am writing this blog [I told you I'm bi-polar]

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Words... they leave me speechless

I have always had a weakness for words and people who use them beautifully, to the extent that even when you know the other person is just playing with words strewing them together in such a manner as to get the most perfect combination – a sentence with every word artfully placed in the most exquisite manner, you’re still enthralled.

Words come before feelings sometimes or rather words seduce you into feeling. Think about it what attracts us to a person? Physical attraction alone is not enough it’s the words the other person uses, words to beguile us, words to lead us into thinking that we are special, we are beautiful and all that jazz.

Sometimes we get carried away with the headiness words provoke, and so starts an affair with each other’s words. Their power is more dangerous than any drugs because they let the adrenaline rush straight to your head, figuratively speaking.

They don’t have to be sincere to charm you if you’re a connoisseur of words they just have to be a blend of emotions and just the right psychological choice for you, working at the precise moment to bring down your defenses most effectively.

They invite you into the psyche of the person wielding them and when two people who are equally good with words get together the result is blindingly beautiful, whether it be romantic, spiritual or just purely intellectual.

Written words give even more power to their creator, because you can read them again and again in the exact same manner that the writer intended you to read.

But it’s wise to stand your guard against them because they can deceive you and sometimes it’s too late before you realize that your infatuation with words can be fatal!

Words…. They really leave me speechless!!!!

Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal - Albert Camus

There are times when you don’t belong
There are people who go through their entire lives feeling like misfits.
Like an actor trying to play his part, faltering, forgetting his lines.
Not fitting in – not knowing what to say.
They look around at everyone not knowing how to be a part of the party that is life!
Playing their role with consummate ease, fooling everyone around.
While they look at themselves from outside, observing themselves. Sneering at themselves.
Going through the motions – not unhappy, not happy.
Wishing that they could disappear
Not knowing what they want – not wanting anything
Feeling that they should want something.
Feeling that they were capable but wanting to be so much more than just capable
Wanting to be extraordinary – and if not, then wasting away
Waiting for the moment of truth to crystallize, for something to change
For something to fall in place, for the pieces to come together
Feeling fragile yet so tough. Much like a spider’s web
So delicate yet strong.
They become so good at not reflecting
Of getting immersed in the welcome mundaness everyday life
Adept at not looking life in the face
Sometimes days go without them thinking of any such thing
Without being constantly aware of their truth
Of their coldness they hide deep, deep within
A bitterness at not being what they desire
Not being great, not having that one thing
That one thing that made them different from everyone
Comfortably and blissfully numb