Friday, June 29, 2007

My Sabbatical

...have exams going on.....and some other stuff I need to deal with .... so will take your leave for a couple of days.
In this sea of people with such beautiful voices... wonder if you will even realize or miss me when I'm gone..... although I so wish you would.......

Thursday, June 28, 2007

...the problem with remembering

Have you met people who after the end of an argument or fight somehow convince you that it was actually you that was in the wrong. They leave you doubting the entire event and how it unfolded. You look at them and you can see that it's not an act and this is how they remember it and you end up doubting the veracity of your own memory...

Memory plays such a huge role in our lives in what we feel about people, in how we react to situations, in our decisions. In fact memory is what decides the entire course of our lives. We put so much stock in what we 'remember' but what proof do we have that what we remember of the past is really all that correct???

When we remember it’s not happening in real time, there is no direct sensory information that we are processing so it's different from perception, and we are not inventing so it’s not imagination because what we remember presumably did take place at some time....

The scary part is that memory is something that has such a capacity to be inherently faulty... because it is always something that happens in the past. After all... aren’t we actually bending time, sort of time traveling when we remember – going back and recollecting. What is to say that everything we bring back is just how it happened? What is there to say that our emotions have not added to our memory what might not have been there before? As proved by the phrase, 'absence makes the heart fonder', and as experienced by couples who have broken up and after some time seem to forget how bad it really was and so get back together...only to realize how wrong they had been... and it really was worse!!!

When we remember ‘how bad’ it hurt we are not remembering the actual pain what we are remembering is actually thinking how bad it hurt. And I know this because just a month after I had moved here I got hit by a car while crossing the road and broke 5 of my bones. I ‘remember’ how agonizing and unending the pain was but do I actually remember it? I mean I can recollect the horror and the essence of the experience but not the sensations.

Thank God for that!!!!

When we meet someone who has injured us in some way and they act as if it never happened, what if they actually did forget about it and indeed it didn't happen at least for them. I know many narcissistic personalities, who only remember the wrong done to them but never what they have done and when you hear them describe some account of a grievance you’re blown away by how sincere and truthful they appear… how totally they believe in everything they are saying, when you know for sure that was not how it happened. I know that at times during such confrontations I’ve been so bewildered that I actually questioned the validity of my memory…perhaps it was me who was the wrong one...

John Locke actually bases our entire sense of self and identity on the continuity of memory. According to him a person who remembers nothing of his or her past literally has no identity!!

... the problem with 'remembering' is best described in the following line....

"The palest ink is better than the best memory"
- Chinese Proverb

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Words of Wisdom

Do you want to write? If you do, then establish oneness with the meaning of meanings. Do not get entangled with words alone. Word is only the medium. What you want to convey is its meaning. The smallest speck of meaning has the capacity to condense a sea of words. It is the power of meaning that has created words. Remember this truth and your writing will automatically become meaningful
- Acharya Mahaprajna

But what am I to do... its so easy for me to get seduced by the heady arrangements of words and the music they make. Whether they are meaningful or not, sincere or not, true or not as long as they are musical....
... the written word, my most exquisite weakness....

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Girl's Night Out

Just got home from a girls night out to this really cool place - [I'm taking steps to be more socially how shall I put it? yes more socially 'accomplished']

Some of the people I met tonight were totally new and random.... and some who I am very good friends with! So two divergent sets...
So it was really a test of how much I had learnt as the result of the previous post and your comments.

So to begin with I had a small talk with myself wherein I told myself I was going to be confident and no one was going intimidate me...

And lo and behold I had such a rocking time.

Before I went out, I read and re-read all your comments and suggestions - and thought I'd conduct an experiment on myself...and report to you all the success or failure of this experiment.

Felt a bit weird to be the subject of your own experiment... but cool

But I rocked tonight... it was bloody amazing and exhilarating. Girl's night out is so much fun!!!!!!!

... another realization I got was that it would be so cool if we could be in the state of mind that we are in when we are slightly inebriated...normally as well... without being drunk..

We'd be so much easier with ourselves and we wouldn't be second guessing everything and examining all of our actions with a bloody magnifying glass of introspect.

Just be...people... just be...

I think I think tooooo much!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, June 25, 2007

There's someone in my head - but it's not me... not always

Have you noticed that with different people we behave differently???

With some it's so easy to express ourselves and around others we feel nervous or inadequate or just unable to connect. Around some people we are sparkling and talkative whereas in the presence of some we are quiet, unassuming and boring!!!

Sometimes we act so strange that we don't even recognize ourselves.

With certain people we are suddenly on the defensive imagining slights that may or may not have been intended... with some we feel gauche or clumsy when we compare their elegance to ours. With those we perceive to be 'superior' to us we feel overshadowed. Sometimes even with the same person we are different...

Does this mean that we have no set behavior pattern or character? Or does it mean that we have a dozen people living in our head and they take turns to appear?

Is it something to do with the other person's emotional status and mood that we absorb and then tailor our behavior accordingly or is it something to do with how we are feeling about ourselves? Or is it a combination of both?

Do we intuitively believe that what we are feeling, what are perceptions and conclusions are MUST be what the other person is thinking of us and so we go on to defense mode whether that person is indeed feeling that or not...

I think when we meet someone that we perceive is better than us in anyway we immediately reach the conclusion that person too will be feeling superior to us, which in turn drives our behavior.

I know I can't make a sweeping generalization and include everyone...not all people are like that, my husband certainly isn't but I know hundreds who are... me included!!!

Saturday, June 23, 2007

My Interview with Bobby...

When Bobby asked me to give an interview for his wonderful blog with a one-of-its-kind concept - Woman: God's Masterpieces, a blog which has as its central theme, 'incredible woman and why we adore them- with poetry, support, pictures, prose, and praise by Robert Revell and John Justice (with guest editorials too)
I was unbelievably flattered and nervous at the same time... since before me he had interviewed two very talented bloggers, Maruica and Adria of In Cinq.

The interview is up on his site now and it was such a thrilling experience... it mattered more than any other interview I had given before because this one is for you all, who know me without ever having met me... which makes it so much more meaningful.

So I hope you check it out and enjoy the interview....

I want to thank Bobby again for his amazingly kind words that made me feel so special.... and I look forward to reading his next interview through which I'll get to know one of you better...

P.S.: It's spectacular to have a place dedicated to women!!!

Dubai Summer Surprises...

People in Dubai love shopping... there are so many malls... and each and every one of them is bursting at the seams with people. Now that the Summer Surprises has started, entire Dubai will become one massive shopping mall. Dubai Summer Surprises is the way Dubai blackmails people into forgetting about the blistering heat with fabulous sales and different weekly themes for kids ranging from color surprises, knowledge surprises, heritage surprises to sweets surprises a whole gamut of stuff geared to entertaining kids, these activities happen mainly in malls. And of course there is Modhesh Fun City

They build an entire city called Modhesh Fun City, 30,000 sq mts facility offering a world of entertainment, an indoor destination, they have an entire amusement park inside the Airport Expo. Divided into over 20 different zones, the Fun City caters to a wide spectrum of interests. It offers a number of new zones this year such as the Ice Arena, Story Teller Zone, Library and Pet Zone besides the regular ones from the past. Toddlers Zone, Tech Zone, Balloon Art Zone, Arts and Crafts Zone, Fun fair areas, Humtaro and Fulla play houses are just some of the delights awaiting kids.

The East Hall of the Fun City is the hub of major events to be held at the Fun City throughout this season. Besides it also features the Family Court with a Modhesh Restaurant, Inflatable Zone, Sand Zone, Ice Arena, Story Teller Zone, Snack Kiosk, Sports Zone, Fun Fair and an information booth. The Ice Arena has a small skating rink and ice field for the visitors. The West Hall which hosts the Pet Zone and Animal Zone also has Redemption Zone, Family Court and yet another Modhesh Restaurant, RTA Zone, Animal Zone, Think and Play Zone, Snack Kiosk, Youla, Heritage Zone, Fun Fair for Kids and an Information booth.

Additionally, the Surprises brings together world-renowned music shows, art exhibitions, and folk dances plus a huge number of promotions - purchase-related raffles where you can win BMWs, and numerous other scratch ‘n’ win promotions. Besides this there will 8 in-mall events, Spa packages for visitors, attractions like “Cartoonival” and “Hello Kitty” mega shows, in addition to the Wonderful Circus which features highly acclaimed performances reflecting elements of dance, pantomime and theatre, other attractions include classical and Jazz music concerts from around the world for the die-hard music aficionados.

The Ten Surprises are one of the biggest attractions and the highlights of the festival. Unlike the previous editions where each Surprise lasted a week, DSS 2007 will have all the Surprises run through till August 31 – a full 72 days of non-stop excitement and entertainment for the whole family. There's a new inclusion this year for those who love to laugh. Comedy Surprises will showcase the best of humour and laughter for ten weeks continuous. The other exciting Surprises are: Art, Food, Flower, Heritage, Global, Nature, Cartoon, Adventure, and Knowledge, in addition to Comedy Surprises. Dubai''''s modern and expansive malls, under the Dubai Shopping Malls Group (DSMG), will host the Ten Surprises on a rotational basis, making the whole event easily accessible to all DSS visitors this year.

Normally sumer was the one time that people living in Dubai were happy as most would go away for vacations and the terrible traffic would ease but with the success of DSS - no such luck according to a press release, this year being the 10th anniversary promises to be one of maddening rush, totally disrupting the life of the people living here who unfortunately are not on summer vacations. Summertime is no longer an outbound season in Dubai, as a large number of visitors pour in for the holiday season which has a gazillion activities and events, shows and shopping bonanzas as part of the Dubai Summer Surprises (DSS).

Since its inception in the year 1998 the DSS has contributed immensely to boosting summer tourism in the UAE. This time round celebrating its 10th anniversary the summer fiesta has lots in store for everyone as it’s expected to surpass all previous records. With so much lined up for the upcoming holiday season airlines are upbeat about the business ahead. As has been the trend Dubai is bracing itself to welcome an influx of tourists from the neighbouring GCC as well as Europe and the Sub-continent to indulge in the summertime celebrations that will hit the city in a few days from now.

Actually it already has... the traffic vouches for it ...ah! well at least the sales will be good

P.S.: The year before last year I had covered each surprise for a television channel, this year I'll cover it for you guys - - as much I can get out in the rush. Will take pictures to show you the insanity that is DSS. The first week event will be Art Surprises to be held at Dubai Festival City. Here's the description from a press release

Arts Surprises: Dubai Festival City
The first week features a painting exhibition showcasing works of mainly local artists in different mediums. The highlight though will be the photography exhibition that will display images of photographers from Iran, India, Lebanon, Kuwait, Romania, Germany, Oman, Poland, Morocco, Egypt, Jordan, and many other countries. Workshops on fashion and jewellery, arts and crafts, and a clay animation workshop will be held everyday during the week. Dubai Festival City will host the Surprise from 5pm to 10pm. A story telling show featuring Jamal Krayyem titled "Suwar" is also being organized for children. A show titled Two Hands Theatre is also being arranged for mall visitors.

If I were a kid, summer here would be like I had been given a free pass to wonderland!

Friday, June 22, 2007

Notes to Remember....

This was a real fun meme... and I must thank Loz of Sunrays and Saturdays - An Ordinary Life as well as Midlife - A Journey for bringing back such fun memories...

I'm cheating we are supposed to list 5-10 songs but it was getting so difficult that I bend the rules a bit was tempted to list sooo many more.

[in random order]
1. Innocent Man - Billy Joel
This is one of the first songs hubby had given me... it was in a cassette and only this song repeated again and again

2. Summer of ‘69 - Bryan Adam & Boys of Summer by Don Henley
I remember drives with friends... hanging out the car window, driving by the beach and singing these songs at the top of our voices

3. Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd
Looking back, the angst of those times amuses me - I remember how 'The Wall' use to be my fallback for all the times I was depressed or angry. I'd lock myself in my room and just listen to it and would feel better by the end of it.

4. Whiter Shade of Pale - Procol Harum
There used to be this guy who was in a band and he had a crush on me so would make me really nice tapes and the original version of this song was in one of them

5. Slave To Love/ Jealous Guy - Bryan Ferry
91/2 weeks...and other memories I'd never want to forget...

6. Wicked Game - Chris Isaak
A little high...a little crazy, a little adventurous

7. "Something So Right" (Annie Lennox with Paul Simon)
I have such a vivid memory of this song - we were all at a friends house - I had just met hubby-to-be and this song played. The back story to it is that I used to think that song was about me, and that it described me perfectly [I was such a drama queen].

8. With or Without you:
The first time I broke someone's heart... not a good memory. But love this song

9. Wish You Were Here - Pink Floyd
This song reminds me of the time that I liked someone who was way too older than me and I was too young... but well what are we to do?

10. Then He Kissed Me
We had bought this Karoake thingy at home and a group of friends would get together and make total fools of ourselves

11. Brain Damage - Pink Floyd
Smoke filled room.... a huge screen and lots of people in varying states of inebriation

12. Night Swimming - REM
At the beach at night.... very literal

13. Fragile - Sting
My cousin and I had made this alternative dance for this song for another cousin's wedding or something.

And since I have been tagging people left right and centre, I'll leave this open to choice. If anyone would like to participate that'd be great...

Thursday, June 21, 2007

About books: Thursday Thirteen...attempt #5

Books I have re-read in the last 6 months

These are some of the books in my library that I have recently re-read and thought I'd recommend...I read a lot and I feel about my books, especially the ones I have enjoyed and learned from... like mothers feel about their kids and to choose from amongst them is very tough. So I thought I'd make my job easier and simply narrow the choice to the books I have re-read recently!
This list doesn't imply that the books not listed here are ones I like any less....

1. Mister. God, This is Anna by Fynn
I could never do this book justice with any review that I could ever write... so even though I am contradicting what I've said earlier about choosing favorites... this book is one I love passionately. It's the story of 19-year old "Fynn" who finds Anna, a mischievous yet wise five and a half year old runaway. It's the story of the time he spent with Anna a very personal account of her outpourings on life. I'll just insert an excerpt
EXCERPT: Over the last few months, it had begun to dawn on me that Anna's real concern had very little to do with properties. Properties had the rather stupid habit of waiting upon circumstances. Water was liquid, except that is, if it was ice or steam. Then the properties were different. The properties of dough were different to the properties of dough or bread. It depended on the circumstances of the baking. Not for one moment would Anna have consigned properties to the dustbin. Properties were very useful, but since properties depended on circumstances, the roadway in pursuit of properties was unending. No, the proper thing to pursue was functions. Being outside Mister God and measuring him gave you properties, seemingly an unending list. The particular choice of properties that you made produced that particular kind of religion that you subscribed to. On the other hand, being inside Mister God gave you the function; and then we were all the same: no different churches, no temples, no mosques etc. We were all the same.

2. My Family and other Animals by Gerald Durrell
This is a lovely book that you'll read & re read. It's soaked in the sunshine of Corfu & is a detailed account of the author & his eccentric family, their unusual friends & their hilarious yet endearing experiences on this beautiful Greek island

3. The Life of Pi by Yann Martel
Winner of the Man booker prize this book is the amazing adventure of the son of a zookeeper, stranded in the middle of the pacific in a lifeboat, his only companions a hyena, an orangutan, a wounded zebra, a 450-pound tiger. Storytelling at its very best

4. A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemingway
I love the way he writes and invites you into his world...making you wish you were part of that magical world, soon disappearing. "This is how Paris was in the early days when we were very poor and very happy," he concludes. I didn't want the book to end as that would mean leaving the world he so beautifully captured within his words

5. The Myth of Sisyphus and other Essays by Albert Camus
Sisyphus was a Greek hero who was punished by the Gods to ceaselessly roll a rock up a slope and just when he had reached the top after hours and hours of labor the rock would slide down. Imagine pushing up a heavy rock knowing that as soon as you got to the top it would roll down and you would have to start pushing it all over again. And you will have to do this over and over. Camus relates this to the struggle we face in life but what makes this struggle different is the hero's total acceptance of his fate, his rebellion of his very fate. The central conclusion is that just because life is meaningless does not mean that it is bad. The collection of stories published as Le Mythe de Sisyphe in 1942 was the second of the absurds.
[From Amazon] "The work has been cited by critics as refined and carefully crafted. The collection stands as more literature than philosophy. Camus spent at least five years writing and editing the work. The polish is clear with the very first sentence: "There is only one really serious philosophical problem, and that is suicide."

6. The Wall & other stories by Sartre
Containing 4 other stories, ‘The Room’, Erostratus’, ‘Intimacy’ and ‘The Childhood of A Leader’, this is another of my books that I rediscover regularly and always take away something different from. Speaking of ‘The Wall’... I love the story because it lays bare how we feel about life - hours before we are about to loose it. It’s so easy to romanticize death but when it’s breathing down your neck… you literally piss in your pants.

7. Blood Sucking Fiends by Christopher Moore
[Review taken from his site] Jody never asked to become a vampire. But when she wakes up under an alley Dumpster with a badly burned arm, an aching neck, superhuman strength, and a distinctly Nosferatuan thirst, she realizes the decision has been made for her. Making the transition from the nine-to-five grind to an eternity of nocturnal prowlings is going to take some doing, however, and that’s where C. Thomas Flood fits in. A would-be Kerouac from Incontinence, Indiana, Tommy (to his friends) is biding his time night clerking and frozen-turkey bowling in a San Francisco Safeway. But all that changes when a beautiful undead redhead walks through the door ... and proceeds to rock Tommy’s life -- and afterlife -- in ways he never imagined possible.

8. The Curious Incident of the Dog at Night-time by Mark Haddon
This amazing debut novel is written from the perspective of an autistic boy trying to find out who killed the neighbor's dog. It takes us into his life & how he processes information & how he sees the world. It’s a journey into the other side.

9. Interpreter of Maladies by Jhumpa Lahiri
Jhumpa Lahiri's extraordinary, Pulitzer Prize-winning debut collection of stories is a bouquet of stories that offers snapshots of life... traveling from India to New England and back again. In these stories she sketches the tumultuous journey and the feeling of displacement and settling into a culture that is so different from yours that it almost feels alien. It's about love and the strength it gives to cross hurdles of nations, cultures, religions, and generations.

10. Like Water For Chocolate by Laura Esquivel
"In a style that is epic in scope yet intensely personal in focus, Laura Esquivel's Like Water For Chocolate tells the story of Tita De La Garza, the youngest daughter in a family living in Mexico at the turn of the twentieth century. Through twelve chapters, each marked as a "monthly installment" and thus labeled with the months of the year, we learn of Tita's struggle to pursue true love and claim her independence. Each installment features a recipe to begin each chapter."

11. Of Human Bondage by Somerset Maugham
I don’t think I’ve read an author who is so eloquent in his simplicity. I love this book because it’s frighteningly real…imagine falling in love with someone who’s flaws you are so clearly aware of and they are flaws that go against the very grain of your personality. This semi-autobiographical novel explores obsession - it’s the story of a crippled doctor's destructive and compulsive passion for a coarse waitress who ridicules him every opportunity she can get. After she finally leaves him, he finds a comfortable love with a novelist. When Mildred returns, will he take her back? What sort of misery and pain await him if he does? Why do humans allow themselves to be bound to another in this way?

12. The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck
This is another of my all-time favorites. I am fascinated by China and its history so love reading about it. I remember when I had first read this book years ago I had said about it…’ a story in every line. And I still stand by that review

13. One Hundred Years Of Solitude
Like the book before I first read this book years ago and fell in love with it…. The imagery in my head was so vivid it was unbelievable. Weirdly enough when I read it again years later I realized how much we let our rationality get in the way of our imagination and somehow loose that picture sharp imagination. Nevertheless it's a book I revisit ever so often.
“One Hundred Years of Solitude chronicles, through the course of a century, life in Macondo and the lives of six Buendia generations-from Jose Arcadio and Ursula, through their son, Colonel Aureliano Buendia (who commands numerous revolutions and fathers eighteen additional Aurelianos), through three additional Jose Arcadios, through Remedios the Beauty and Renata Remedios, to the final Aureliano, child of an incestuous union. As babies are born and the world's "great inventions" are introduced into Macondo, the village grows and becomes more and more subject to the workings of the outside world, to its politics and progress, and to history itself. And the Buendias and their fellow Macondons advance in years, experience, and wealth . . . until madness, corruption, and death enter their homes

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Had they lived....

Do you think Romeo and Juliet would have been as immortal in life as they are in death... I mean had they lived and got married and had a little brood, would they be as famous and as oft-quoted as they are now? Would their love story still been called the greatest love story of all time - a perfect ode to love?

Yeah right! Romeo never had to see Juliet first thing in the morning and Juliet never heard Romeo snoring...

Tragedy is what lends so much allure to love stories... allow them to play out and reach their natural life cycle and like everything else they would soon reach the maturity stage... and dying for each other would appear to be slightly foolish... if not downright ridiculous

Love grows deeper and the thumping heart and jelly knees turns into a different kind of emotion... it becomes real and like everything real it stops being a perfect little fairy tale.

It's more meaningful because it's accepted with all its flaws and imperfections... it turns into acceptance and respect and the desire to make things work even when the going gets a bit rough.

It's a strange kind of friendship...a paradox - someone capable of hurting you worse than anyone ever the same time someone who can make you the happiest you've been...

It's being accepted even after you've made an ass of yourself at times... it's making room for another in your precious space. It's allowing the heart to open up a little more every day to accommodate each others' insecurities and ego, unspoken fears and vanities.

It's doing little things for one's unconsciously turning in the night and feeling thankful for the person next to you... feeling content at knowing there is someone out there who knows you better than you think they know you...

Someone who you may fight with and exchange cruel words with...but someone who is still there in the morning...someone you may walk away mentally from, time to time...but someone you return to each time.

Someone tied to you with the most fragile of bonds....yet often the one most difficult to break...

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Did Curiosity Really Kill The Cat?

I did a post along similar lines some time ago... as long as I can remember there have been questions running around in my head creating havoc. It's like guilt and curiosity are two traits that I have been blessed [?] with, in abundance.

One of my fellow bloggers, paisley whose blogs I enjoy immensely, left me a comment that actually inspired this post... she said I asked too many questions and that I should follow my heart... but sometimes, actually most of the times, my head won't let me. Even if I could fool it and hide for a while it would still win ultimately, and make me question everything that my heart was telling me.

According to Wikipedia my curiosity falls under the umbrella of 'morbid curiosity'
A morbid curiosity is a compulsion, fixed with excitement and fear, to know about macabre topics, such as death and horrible violence. In a milder form, however, this can be understood as a cathartic form of behavior or as something instinctive within humans. According to Aristotle, in his Poetics, we even “enjoy contemplating the most precise images of things whose sight is painful to us”. (This aspect of our nature is often referred to as the 'Car Crash Syndrome' or 'Trainwreck Syndrome', derived from the notorious inability of passersby to ignore such accidents.)
So how do I stop this trainwreck if indeed it is a train wreck....

What should I term this constant love affair with asking questions? curiosity? vanity? indulgence or simply stupidity?

I call it an affair because I love when questions are asked and an answer is given which leads to more questions and more answers... we keep going round and round in circles and that's when you feel most alive and vibrant, your heart thumping... your senses sharp.. adrenaline taking you to another level....

Maybe it's like a high you don't want to end....

You have this relationship with very few people - the one in which all you do is question everything under the sun and debate...and hours melt away like minutes. I have relationships like this with perhaps only three people... the rest are just filled with mundane stuff and inane ramblings about the day-to-day drudgery that life can be at times...

I feel that the minute you stop discovering or asking questions is the minute you start getting old and stop growing.... maybe this is one my fears and so I constantly keep going around my head in circles...

I don't know thats yet another question...

P.S.: No cats were harmed during the writing of this post although Greg did try to kick them... he didn't succeed

Monday, June 18, 2007

8 random facts about me

Phil tagged me some time ago to disclose 8 random facts about me so doing it now... sorry for taking so long to respond.

Here are the rules:

  • Players start with 8 random facts about themselves.
  • Those who are tagged should post these rules and their 8 random facts.
  • Players should tag 8 other people and notify them that they have been tagged.

1. I keep my money in not only ascending order but also by serial number [totally insane... I know]
2. I had nine cats before I moved here
3. I have done Bungee jumping, sky diving,white water rafting, para gliding... and now want to take a course through which I'll be able to sky dive solo
4. I don't know how to drive and till three years ago I had never operated a washing machine
5. My parents didn't allow me to model but when I got married I started modeling and hosting shows on television even did a couple of plays... don't do any now as too busy studying...
6. I did my first masters in mass communications and now doing an MBA ... I love studying and am a geek
7. I have partied for three days straight and believe we should do EVERYTHING at least once in life
8. When I first met my husband almost 10 years ago, I couldn't stand him.. he thought I was a snob and I thought he was a flirt [after all I was a convent school girl - very proper and sheltered]

The 8 bloggers I tagged [I guess the ones who have already been tagged by someone else and responded don't have to respond and neither is it incumbent upon others tagged by me... feel free to ignore ;)]

  1. It's a Schmitty Life
  2. Zakman
  3. HollyGL
  4. Dream Catcher/Augmented Reality
  5. Lozster
  6. Revellian
  7. Bridge's Garden
  8. Looney mom

Sunday, June 17, 2007

...and the award goes to

Two bloggers, TwistedSister....totally pissed off and Revellian awarded me the Thinking Blogger Award a few weeks ago and recently [today] so did Lozster. I am beyond flattered and a little giddy with delight as all of them have such great blogs themselves.

Sincere apologies for taking so very long to respond but life's been kind of topsy turvey lately... only now returning to equilibrium.

The Five blogs that make me think would be:

1. Greg's Brain and Greg's Writing Blog. His amazing and sometimes cruel intellect and satire always makes me think and question some of my beliefs. I might not agree with all of his views but can always see the logic and sharpness of his arguments. It's truly a mentally stimulating trip every time I visit... one of my blogging pleasures....

2. Old Things Under the Sun
He writes beautifully and his perception and honesty suck in the reader... he is passionate about his beliefs and speaks up for them. A hater of dogmas and 'joiners', I'm sure he attracts many, and so perhaps he won't like being tagged by me... but hey this is about who I think makes me think...

3. Torchwood and Quasar9: I love visiting both these blogs [by the same author] as I always get to learn some new & awesome discovery from the mysteries of rogue black holes to green tea. Plus his comments always make me smile

4. Kombai: This is an enchanting blog filled with nostalgia and a feeling of going home. The authors Premalatha and Michelle pull you into their life with the simple beauty and eloquence of their writing.

Despair and Coffee: Discovered this blog very recently but love its eloquence, perspective and strange melancholy. A curiosity to know and a desire to share - from love to death to God this blog talks about it all....

There were many other bloggers that I admire and regularly visit...but they had very recently received this I had to choose only five which was not an easy job as I admire so many more...

The rules are
For the record the rules are -

Congratulations, you won a !

Should you choose to participate, please make sure you pass this list of rules to the blogs you are tagging.

The participation rules are simple:

1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think

2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme

3. Optional: Proudly display the 'Thinking Blogger Award' with a link to the post that you wrote (here is an alternative silver version if gold doesn't fit your blog).

Saturday, June 16, 2007

A random digression

My mind drifts as I look around the class - the teacher truly uninspiring, I spiral into a mindless boredom - an insane numbing of the mind.
I drift... many faces... so many disguises.
I wonder what they are thinking? what secrets they hide... what joys they await... what pains they endure...
Do we ever really get to know the person next to us? or are they like me?
Forever guarded!

A reality created with great care - never too revealing, never too open... always wanting to appear perfect... not always achieving that.
It would be good to break free and not need anyone's approval

So why do some of us need constant validation? When we know what we are worth why don't we believe?

We all start with the same slate... then why do some people never seem to need anyone's approval, so sure of themselves - not needing anyone.

Is it nature or nurture?
Are we products of where we are born and to whom we are born?
Does life happen to us or do we happen to life?

How do we break do we unlearn?

Can we create a new identity or are the chains of our DNA too strong?

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Pain Sucks...

I know this is no amazing philosophical revelation or new discovery but it's a truth that just is very relevant to me on a personal level these days. Not only is is it painful to see the person you love in an inordinate amount of pain what is more painful and hateful is to see is how that constant physical pain changes [hopefully temporarily] parts of your personality. And I have seen this in my dad... he's become so angry and so hurtful to everyone around... I tell myself it's the intense pain but it still doesn't make it easy to see the aggression...
So what does one do? Stay quiet and hope thats its the pain talking or retaliate?

I think a loss of control is what leads to rage when you find yourself unable to do the simplest things and need assistance... rage builds up. Although one understands all the reasons but when faced with an onslaught of angry words its easy to forget.

Pain is such a leveller as much as or poor, brilliant or dumb, beautiful or ugly... you can't help but change in response to pain

unless of course you can't feel it... as is the case with CIPA patients... but I'm sure lack of pain would be as debilitating as chronic pain itself....

Friday, June 8, 2007

I'm Back.....

Hi... everyone. I cannot express how touched I am by all of your prayers and concern. Feel very honoured and loved!

My dad is okay now... but the amount of pain he is in is insane.

It's been a very humbling experience - a real eye-opener.

Will write more once I get back... which is in a couple of days!!!!

Thanks again for caring