Is love unconditional?

Is there such a thing? People say that a mother's love is unconditional or God's love is unconditional. Unconditional love meaning love that has no expectations, love that just gives without accepting anything in return.

I have had countless arguments with people when they say that there is such a thing as unconditional and used to be told to wait till I was a mother to experience this phenomenon.

Well, I waited but still haven't reached any such conclusion. I feel a love for Aleyna beyond anything I have ever felt for anyone but then she is such a joy to me. Her smile when she sees my face in the morning literally makes my heart melt. But I still can't say it's unconditional as she give me love in return. I live for the new things she does and how she's growing a bit everyday.

With unconditional love you are not supposed to expect anything from the person you love, keep giving even when you don't get anything in return. It's true that only a parent gives more than they receive and they want the best for their child before themselves. A parent's love might be as close to unconditional love as one can get but nonetheless there are conditions attached to it. There is always an expectation, expectation that you will be a 'good' child. Expectations that change with time and some that are unconscious.

Unconditional love is a myth. You may fool yourself into thinking that you are loving unconditionally and don't want anything in return but that's not the truth. Even if you convince yourself that your love is unconditional and that you don't want anything for yourself, it might be the fact that it makes you feel good about yourself to feel like you have boundless love that doesn't want anything in return. Conditions always exist, some that might not be apparent to even yourself.

When we say we love someone unconditionally we are saying that we love the person for just 'being' and not 'doing'. We are deserving of love by just being a creation of God, that is enough of a reason to have intrinsic value independant of our actions. I can't wrap by head around that.

Because God too has conditions attached to our behaviour, what are the ten commandments if not conditions?

You hear people say how much life changes after having a baby but you realize the gravity and magnitude of that truth only after you've experienced it yourself. Its a momentous occasion truly but a lot of people have it before they are truly ready for it or understand its significance and the effects it necessarily has. Having a baby doesn't only mean having an adorable extension to your family it means a whole different dynamic taking place in your existence as a couple and you better be ready for it and have a strong marriage to sustain it as well as a strong sense of who you are.

In my case because of the long wait we were more than ready, there was already everything that we had done, the late nights and the parties were something that we didn't mind missing anymore. We already knew everything there is to know about each other and done everything from jumping out of the sky to partying all night. But even then it is difficult to maintain the balance between baby and hubby. I want to spend every waking minute with Aleyna to the exclusion of everyone and everything. I marvel at couples who have babies immediately after they get married - it certainly ain't easy. I have seen cases where after the initial excitement and whirlwind of the baby settles, the woman realizes that a huge change has taken place. She can't go out as much with her husband no more romantic candlelit dinners 'discovering' each other. A new marriage is in itself a challenge, where you have to learn to co exist with each other. You haven't laid grounds as a couple yet, not formed a foundation of your relationship to which you're adding another floor so to speak, thus the building isn't very strong to withstand the extra pressure. . The woman feels torn between looking after the baby, being with the husband or taking care of how she looks and ends up a mess. There is unspoken expectations to be super mom, super wife, superwoman and sometimes you lose the plot, add to that the extra pounds that don't necessarily make you look your best. The woman is not allowed to have a bad day or feel miserable, and unsure of herself or her new marriage because that is immediately categorized as being self indulgent and ungrateful of the miracle that is her baby. Talk about having too much on your plate.

But women make it through, I can only say that never in a million years could a man [correction 'most' men, there are always exceptions to the rule] have a baby and I'm not talking about the physical impossibility.....

Where am I from, Mummy???

Kids born in Dubai don't get a nationality only the Emirati or locals do. The nationality on their passport is the same as their parents. If both the parents are from different countries then I suppose the child would carry the fathers' country of origin. And what if even the parents were born in the UAE, what then? They'd end up borrowing their parents' nationality who in turned had borrowed their parents'. Wow!!!

The funny thing is that in UAE, the locals constitute only approximately 20%, the rest of the population is a mixed bag of Asians, Arab expats and others. Every day brings more people from all over the world to Dubai as they prepare to settle down with their families, or start ones, a lot of children are born here [the waters of Dubai seem to be very fertile, every fifth person you see is pregnant or carrying strollers]

So what should these kids do? They have to accept their parents nationality, but what if they don't have any associations or bonds with that country? They aren't born there, didn't go to school there, played in the parks there, they haven't made their friends there, had their fights, yet their passport says they belong to that country.

This got me thinking about what makes a person belong to a country? Especially in the case of the country not accepting the fact that the person was born there and for all intents and purposes its their only true home?

When I had this conversation with an acquaintance they gave their own explanation, 'whichever country your forefathers have migrated too, and adopted as their own, should determine your nationality'

But then where do you decide to stop and choose, your great grandfather's country or his fathers'?.

Would such kids be different when they grow up? Especially if they are of a questioning nature or will they just adopt their parents nationality, the one given on their passport even though they weren't born there and in some cases have just been there on holidays? Is it even fair to expect them to accept that country as their own if they haven't grown up there. Most of them just end up convincing themselves that indeed they are from where their parents are.

But nationality and culture are two different things you might be an Asian because of ethnicity but nationality?

Does having roots only depend on what your passport says or growing up in a place is what determines nationality????

Not dead... infact just multiplied [7 months ago]

Hi everyone and happy holidays. I know this is after a REALLY long time more than a year 15 months to be precise but I was busy :-)

Had a beautiful baby girl last year June.

Meet Aleyna

At birth ---------- - now

I used to hear everyone says life changes after a baby but never knew how much!

It's awesome but I literally don't do anything but be with her - slightly obsessive but she came after 9 years and is my little miracle!

...the means to Meaning!!!

I have a crazy infatuation with words and can be very easily fooled by people who can use them well, my love for beautifully strung together words has been expressed quite extensively in earlier posts.

But sometimes the most wondrous moments in life transpire without any words at all and the effect of that wordless communication is so much more powerful. Sometimes so many things that are so difficult to express, because what you feel is so much bigger than words, can be said through a single glance. When emotions are perfectly in sync, words pale - and that's when you realize the truth behind the cliche, 'a picture is worth a thousand words' .

That moment and your experience of it makes you realize that words are nothing without meaning and that meaning is not dependent on words at all. They are there to convey the essence and if that's not there the most immaculately put together words will have no effect.

'Words offer the means to meaning...'
and without that meaning words are merely 'empty vessels'!

Ode to Belief

These days more so than ever my mind keeps dwelling on how brave people who don’t believe in God, really are. For if I didn’t believe I would find it so hard to find strength.

For me to believe in God and for that belief to be rational to myself I don’t need to back it up with any argument – it simply exists and if I were to try to negate it, it would still be.

When I’m scared, it is comforting to pray and leave it to an entity, which I believe to be much bigger than myself. Believing in God is the ultimate selfish act – it gives me much more than it does to God.

Believing in something is what gives most of us some meaning. There has to be something we believe in whether it is knowledge, truth or beauty or being right.

Everyone does need that belief – for with that system, some principles are born which give form to the life that exists in our head.

For me that belief is my belief in the existence of God, I choose to believe, not because I was taught to, as there are certain rituals of organized religion which I don’t follow at all, but because I just do, I don’t have an option even if I tried not to believe it wouldn’t happen. Only someone who believes can tell you the sweet release of letting go and leaving it to God with the prayer to accept with strength whatever outcome ensues, an outcome over which nobody whether they believe or don’t believe, have any control. You can only control the way you feel and that’s what you pray for.

I don’t care if it is the more unsustainable or complicated hypothesis to choose.

Let me explain…

William of Ockham says that when you are presented with two hypotheses that are otherwise equally well-supported by the available evidence, you should always pick the simpler hypothesis. This principle is known as Ockham’s razor.

For example, these are the two hypotheses

1. There exist aliens amongst us but they can choose to be invisible and immaterial to escape detection by humans

2. There exist no aliens

Both can appear to be correct if we measure their accuracy according to their descriptions. The rational thing, people will point out, is to believe that no aliens exist – it is simpler.

But like I said earlier, faith does not require a good argument to justify its existence. It is unexplainable.

I suppose this battle will wage on for as long as the universe exist with both sides believing in how absolutely false the other is. Arguments will be presented by generations to come, questions such as why God allows there to be suffering and why does cancer exist, why does punishment seem to be so unfair why do cruel people prosper and the good ones have horrible things happen to them will always exist.

But what people don’t realize is that when you believe, you believe unconditionally it is very much like the love a mother feels for her newborn baby who keeps her up all night and demands the world. It is all encompassing and has no argument for its existence, it just is.

Would you rather be Happy or Right??

I WOULD RATHER BE HAPPY THAN RIGHT…


...THE THING IS…









...I DON’T THINK I CAN BE HAPPY WITHOUT BEING RIGHT ;-D


....and you???

Blue Tea Meme

Blue Tea Meme

Dawn has tagged me for the Blue Tea Meme! According to the rules I need to devise a list of 5-10 courses I would take to fix my life.

Rules:
It’s more fun to be in classes with friends, so include one class from the person who tagged you that you’d also like to take.
Tag five other bloggers.

P.S.: I think I have been more prompt with this meme than I have ever been

Here’s my course schedule:

How to be lazy without ever feeling guilty: Since I am the laziest person I know and actually don't feel guilty about taking time out and enjoying myself, I would give a kick ass course. So everyone who is a workaholic and can't relax please join this course with me

How to say 'NO' to Pushy People: For this course I am having a specialist flown in, a certified sayer of 'NO', since I am very bad at saying 'no' to people and often get roped in to do other people's jobs, I desperately need this course.

How to get the last word in ;-D: According to my hubby I ace at this - so I thought why not spread the joy

How to be less paranoid: This is a course that I desperately need these days - tried out a few teachers but they haven't worked. Looking for an expert as we speak. Classes will commence as soon as I find a good one

Webmaster: This is a course I am going to take with Dawn aka Twisted Sister as I am fascinated with all things web-related.

5 people I tag

Titania Starlight
Sandip [I want to see the clever postcard that he can make for this]
Amel's Realm
jYankee
Mariuca

Giving thanks... why is it so tough???

We are always thinking about the one that got away and so we forget to be thankful for the one that we have. It's sad but it is true. In the enumerating of the things that we don't have we forget everything that we do.

Most of us are always looking at the house that's better than us and never the homeless. Only when everything gets taken away do we realize the beauty of what we had and didn't appreciate... so here's hoping we can all find things we are grateful for.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING to all my American friends.
In fact we should all give thanks for the pleasures we do have...

I would also like to thank Jeff and Meleah for the wonderful awards they bestowed on me. To Jeff whose own blog is such a great blend of humor and strength and honest vulnerability, '

The "Be the Blog Award" is given to blogs that, according to Mark, "really sums up what a successful blogger does. And what I mean by successful is that they make it their own, stay with it, are interactive with their readers, and just plain have fun."

Thank you for the wonderful BTB award and your kind words....
"Now, to nominate someone for this award. I will have to give it to Random Magus. Every time I read that blog, I usually find something there that makes me think. I haven't really been able to get back into the swing of reading and commenting on blogs lately, but RM was the first thing that popped into my mind. I have noticed that she hasn't written in a while, but her archives are just full of thoughtful nuggets that will keep you busy until she gets back."

I in turn would like to present this award to Greg, whose blogs are a constant source of entertainment and education... an who is a kick ass writer

And to my lovely friend Meleah whose blogs I love and who is such an amazing person, strong and kind..

Rules: The people given this award are encouraged to post it on their own blogs; list three things they believe are necessary for good, powerful writing; and then pass the award on to the five blogs they want to honour, who in turn pass it on to five others, etc etc. Let’s send a roar through the blogosphere!

Three Things I Believe Are Necessary For Good Powerful Writing:

1. The desire to write

2. Discipline

3. Knowledge of random things

I would like to pass this on to the following blogs because of their sheer writing prowess

Michelle

Why Paisley

Ricardo

The Naked Soul

The Angry Barcode aka Intellectual Hedonism

A matter of the heart... or the brain??

You remember the time when you just started going out and your heart felt like it would burst with all the love you were feeling. This is the stage when your partner could do no wrong, the pedestal was studded with diamonds, things that will irritate the crap out of you later are so endearing and you stare in wide-eyed wonder at everything that comes out of that hallowed mouth. You need no one else and you are the couple that other couples look at with various expressions. Some are just plain annoyed at being unwilling spectators to unwarned PDA, others look with envy and yet others with a knowing look that says 'enjoy it while you can, it won't last forever'. Well scientifically speaking the last ones are the most correct.

When we meet someone that we fall in love with we are on cloud nine, thinking about them is the most pleasurable thing in the world. We feel like we are on an emotional high which is the most rewarding sensation we have ever experienced. We are blind to all faults and the thoughts of our loved one makes us tingle with pleasure.

The glamorous explanation is that love literally makes our heart go soft and gooey and our eyes twinkle but the more accurate explanation is that love has got more to do with what's happening in our brains or rather to our brains physically than our hearts.

When we fall in love, the reward or pleasure center in our brain gets activated, and starts firing every time we see our beloved or think about them and at the same time the part of our brain which is responsible for critical evaluations and judgments gets muted, explaining why the person we love, can literally do no wrong and why we idolize them. According to research this phenomenon lasts for two to three years... this is of course for the preservation of the species.

The mystery to some of the most stupendous stupidity shown by most couples in love has been solved....Love literally makes us or rather our brains go blind!!!

To speak or not....

Have you ever been in a position where one action of yours could affect someone else's life in a big way? This person may or may not be a very close friend [I suppose that would play a very important role in your decision].

At times like this, it's like the two opposing decisions, action and inaction, both struggle ferociously to supersede each other. And in this conflict the question of choosing the right rears its head, so what do you do?

Take the easy way out or go for the tougher one?

When you are in a dilemma- do you choose to be comfortable or do you take the more difficult path.

It's easy to be silent and tell yourself you don't want to interfere in other people's lives and that you have no business minding other people's business especially when that means getting out of your comfort zone and being in the position where you have to be the one who gets to do the 'unpleasant' task. But the question still remains whether you are not interfering because you want to stay out of a messy business and not be responsible for possibly disastrous consequences or because you actually not the interfering sort. Of course if its the action that matters than your reasons for doing or not doing don't really count just the consequence of the action.

I think the one question to ask would be what would you want the other person to do if you were in their position. Would you want to hear the unpleasant truth? Is it wise to say what's on your mind or hold back because you don't know what the repercussions would be if you opened your mouth?

Law of Diminshing Returns???

I have been going over this in my head for the last few days - why do we lose interest in things? The same things we might have fought tooth and nail for, hurt other people for, lied for - yet sooner or later that very thing loses its allure.

I have observed this in so many people of so many different backgrounds so I know it's not a culture thing - it's a human condition.

Nothing makes us happy for too long, not those gorgeous boots that look so sexy or the 10 lost pounds or that amazing new game we played. We get hooked, we conquer it and then it stops giving us the same happiness.

Happiness is a totally separate issue so perhaps I should leave that out right now, I am going to limit myself to interest. There are things that we can't wait to do, that are irresistible to us, we are obsessed yet when after a lot of effort they become part of our lives and routine they simply stop being as appealing to us.

Is it because they have become our routine that they stop being exciting?

Perhaps Economics would explain it better than psychology or philosophy - is it merely a case of diminishing returns?

This famous law was first written about by a Frenchman, Anne Robert Jacques Turgot and then alluded to by Thomas Malthus in his Essay on the Principle of Population (1798).

When one of the factors of production is held fixed in supply, successive additions of the other factors will lead to an increase in returns up to a point, but beyond this point returns will diminish

After getting those lovely boots and wearing them a couple of times or driving that sexy car, a point comes when the thrill kind of dies down. We become used to it.

Psychology would explain it as perhaps the human nature to want to conquer and once that need is met and the prey captured, interest lost.

I wonder why it happens though? What do you think

It's me B'dy today

Hey all - another year older today. Have a great day plan with lunch at the boardwalk with 25-30 friends. Some live here some happen to be visiting. Then from there we'll go to 360 which is a roof-deck bar cum nightclub but on Friday and Saturday they start from 5 pm. It's pretty cool!
Hope this year will be totally rocking :)

Pardon me - I'm a procrastinator

I think the word procrastination finds a new depth of meaning with me, but I am being harsh with myself. Have been AWOL because I was pretty sick the last week. A bit better now, going for tests on Saturday.

Anyway I have been amazingly lazy in honoring some tags and so apologize to everyone.

The first one was a desktop meme which I was tagged by Marzie, Twister Sister and Amel's Realm. And a just recently Titania as well. So here's what my desktop looks like























I also wanted to thank Amel's Realm for the wonderful awards she gave me, 'Totally Fab' award and 'Schmooze' award. Thank you so much.

And now for the dinner party meme
Dinner Party Meme: Come and Join Me! ;-D


Amel’s Realm has tagged me to do this meme. Since Halloween is coming up I think I will make my party a cool Halloween shindig.

Since I can’t cook it will all be catered. ☺

This is how it will look!

Pictures from www.hostesswiththemostess.com/themes/halloween


The rules as set out by Graham (the originator of this meme) are as follows:-

The idea is to work your way through the eight phases of the dinner party, answering all of the questions on the way - being as honest and creative as you wish. Once your homework has been completed, please nominate any bloggers who's "virtual" dinner party you would love to hear about.

1) The Dinner Party Theme: You have decided to hold a dinner party. When writing the invites you clearly state that fancy dress must be worn. Assuming that cost is no issue, who or what would you dress up as, and why?

Could I be anyone other than Catwoman - I don't think so.
















2) The Invitations: This dinner party is for 6 people (including yourself), you are allowed to invite any 5 other people (either past, present, real or fictional), who would you invite and why?

6 people - this puts me in a predicament. I think this party calls for fun and excitement and a little danger....
1. Superman
2. Lex Luthor
3. Batman
4. Joker
5. Wonder woman
6. Circe






This is going to be blood curdling fun. I can't wait...meeeooowww
Who cares if I'm breaking the rules by not counting myself - I am Catwoman I can do anything......

3) The Starter: You are preparing the menu, which dish(es) would you choose as the starter, and why?

I have left it all to the caterers they did send some pictures.

Snake Bites **************** Jumbo Shrimps ************Torched Pumpkin Strips


Pictures taken from: The Food Network and Perfect Entertaining.

4) The Main Course: Okay, now for the main course? and what drink would you serve with it?
There is going to be a lavish buffet of dishes from all corners of the world. After all it's a gathering of the greatest heroes and their nemesis...

Some of the dishes include:
Steak Bites with Bloody Mary dipping sauce

-----------------------------------------------------Baked Bones


Barbequed Bat wings




Drinks: Unlimited - I plan to get my guests VERY drunk *insert evil laugh here*













5) The Sweet: Finally, the sweet. Which would you choose, and why?

It will be a bewitched cake but of course...


6) The Entertainment: The dinner party has gone swimmingly, everybody has had fun, conversation and drinks have been flowing all evening. At the end of the meal you announce that everybody should perform their 'party piece' (no matter how strange or pointless). What party piece would you perform?

This is where I set my plan in motion and take the guests to my underground fight club where I already have very interesting fights and bets going on. I wanted to add theses heroes to my plethora...muuhhaaaa


Picture taken from: askani.wordpress.com

7) The End Of The Evening: The party is over, everybody has gone home, the house suddenly feels empty and quiet. Your eyes fix on the hi-fi in the corner of the room. You search though your CD collection to put on some music as you want to listen to one more track before your retire to bed. Which track would you play?

Born to be Wild!!!!!!

Picture taken from: www.digitalmarketinggroup.biz/flowerpower

P.S: If I have forgotten any other meme or award - please let me know....

Of Dreams...

There are some things in life that should always stay a fantasy, a dream, a beautiful piece of fiction that gives you joy.

Because when and if it comes true - guaranteed it'll never be as rich and varied as it is in your dreams.

Because in your dreams you are not the writer or the creator just the spectator living a story, but each time with a different end and a different beginning. Powerless yet totally enthralled.

That's what's so wonderfully liberating about dreams, a free ticket to travel to lands - enchanted and magical. Beautiful beyond your wildest imagination unpredictable and dangerous at times, sweet and innocent at others.

Dreams - the little pieces of fiction that belongs to only us - heard by no one, seen by no one - shared with no one!

A precious gift - that we take for granted but never should

Picture taken from: http://images.google.ae/imgres?imgurl=http://medusaeyes.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2006/10/dreams.

Hi!

Hey guys sorry for disappearing like this. Had a little too much on my plate, physically, mentally and emotionally. College was crazy, dad was over, had to handle too many unexpected series of bad news.

Now I am trying to quit smoking - and it's not easy. Just had two today... So have been pretty much residing [read that as hiding] in my shell. It takes so much effort even to peak out. I'm slightly imbalanced that way. But today I thought I must.

Waiting for some pretty big news which I will get in around ten days so wish me luck and remember me in your prayers.

Nervous as hell about it!

Amsterdam: A Photo Journey: Thursday Thirteen... Attempt 7

Thirteen photos from My trip to Amsterdam I just bought a scanner, I've been meaning to do that for quite a long time, since I'm really lazy it took this long. Anyway I wanted to scan some pictures. As I was going through my album I decided to do a photologue of my Amsterdam trip in 2004. I just love that city, it was tough to stick to 13 but I had to as this Thursday 13 not 130. So I picked some of my favorites. We were a group of around 10 friends and to say that we had a ball would be an understatement 1. Dam Square is the physical center of the city and embodies the essence of Amsterdam. You can sit for hours and watch, there are people walking, cycles, trams, buses, cars and taxis on the same road which is hundreds of years old. 2. The Royal Palace on Dam Square. Jacob van Campen designed this building as a city hall, which it was until 1808, when Napoleon's brother Louis Bonaparte ruled Holland for 5 years. He thought the building fit for a king, and ever since this has been the official palace for the reigning queen or king of the Netherlands. 3. Leidseplein is a small square, with numerous bars and and street performers; everything from jugglers and fire-eaters to percussionists, mime players and clowns. If you look at the street lamp you'll see one acrobat 4. Rembrandtplien, which at night becomes quite the hotspot! 5. At Vondelpark which is the largest park of the city, close to the Leidseplein and the big museums. Filled with people, both visitors and locals. It's really beautiful 6. Getting on one of the trams that takes you from one part of the city to another. They are adorable. 7. Sitting outside the Van Gogh museum - that was such a trip. One of my dreams come true. Unfortunately the 250-room Rijksmuseum,[the one in the background], which contains a handful of exquisite Vermeers and one of the best Rembrandt collections in the world, was closed for renovation:( 8. Enjoying a cold beer 9. I think this is Jordaan - an easygoing and peaceful area, with lots of bars, restaurants and interesting little shops. 10. The canals are one of the major attractions of the 'Venice of the North'. They look so pretty and at night when the lights are on and the bridges are illuminated, the entire place looks enchanted. The four main city center canals are Prinsengracht, Herengracht, Keizersgracht and Singel, and of course there are numerous smaller canals. 11. Don't remember where this is - just remember that I had gone shopping . 12. We ate a lot - it was fun sitting and watching people pass by! 13. This was the Dance Valley - a dance festival attended by around 40-50000 people. It's hardcore fun! (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!) 1. Finding Life's Enchantments 2. Echoes of Grace

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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Walk like an Egyptian...

I was waiting at the hospital, and decided that instead of getting impatient and ill-tempered as I usually do when I have to wait, I'd people watch, and a hospital and especially one in Dubai is the best place to do that [there are people from all over the world here].

I noticed a really funny thing, now mind you, this is just a hypothesis which has been induced after a few random observations and would need much deeper investigation to be proved or disproved. And of course this will be a continuing endeavor in which hopefully you all can help as well.

So my hypothesis or observation is this:
People from different parts of the world walk differently. Arabs have a different walk, Indians a different one, Central Europeans a different one.

Seriously I'm not joking. I realized this as I saw a woman's back as she was walking past me, she was wearing the traditional Arabic dress, the long black coat [abaya] but the way she was walking was not like an Arab [the women look like they are gliding when they walk, and this one was walking very purposefully]. So to assuage my curiosity I walked to the cashier a little ahead and lo and behold I was right although she was wearing the hijab, she wasn't an Arab [different language]. After that I watched a few more people and a fascinating pattern emerged and I decided this is something that I'll investigate further.

I intend to continue observing people to see whether this was a random occurrence or do people from different parts of the world do have a different walk. Maybe I'll have to broaden my groups but it seems like it'll be a fun thing to do.

Have you noticed this?

It's all relative

Have you noticed how the same thing can invoke two very different reactions and feelings in us. A cool breeze on a hot summer's day can feel heavenly but the same breeze when we are cold and don't have a shawl can be most wretched and unbearable. When we are sad everything seems ordinary, the most beautiful picture that may have moved us to tears of joy at other times can appear lackluster.

There are so many examples of this phenomenon happening, all of us have been through experiences that have at one time made us feel over the moon with joy and other times left us cold.

So maybe it's not the experience or the thing that is in itself sad or happy, pleasant or unpleasant, but us who embody those experiences with meaning. So these terms are relative to our moods and our inner states, to the time and space we are inhabiting at that moment.

A flower on its own is neither beautiful or non-beautiful it is a person who makes it beautiful.

P.S.: We move in circles - I had written something very similar to this in April - one of my first few posts. So my development is not linear it's spiral...round and round [that's not good]

'Mine's bigger than yours' syndrome...albeit with style

If there were ever any city that believes ‘bigger is truly better’ it would have to be Dubai. There is penchant for breaking all sorts of records whether it be in building the world’s tallest towers [the word ‘Burj’ means tower] or setting a record for…wait for it… putting on the world’s largest display of traditional rice dumplings.


The latest star actually ‘seven-star’ project is a Dhs 1.8bn jungle-themed offshore hotel in Dubai that will only be accessible via helicopter or boat, according to ‘Emirates Today’. The retreat will be called Apeiron and from the descriptions I have read, is truly going to be a paradise on earth. A UAE business group is funding the hotel. The hotel, which will be located on a man-made island about 400 meters off Dubai's coast, has plans to combine wildlife, private lagoons, beaches, an underwater restaurant with views to the surrounding lagoons and coral, art gallery, and retail shopping, cinemas, spas, conference facilities and a thick butterfly jungle spreading across the top two floors and a butterfly jungle.


The architect is Simon Mitchell, from Sybarite Architect, a London Based company. According to the him, “The butterfly jungle will be created by controlling the humidity and heat level in the jungle area. The temperature and humidity would be artificially regulated to make it a very relaxing space and a thick natural habitat for butterflies and other insects,”

There will be an underwater gym and spa that look out on the central lagoon. Colorful coral reefs will also surround the hotel. The hotel will offer yacht and helicopter service to ferry guests to and from the island. Those arriving by air will land at a helipad 55 meters above the Gulf and connecting to the hotel’s ninth floor. Yachts can moor in the heart of the building’s core

The silhouette is breath taking and dramatic guaranteeing it a place in the history books.

"The apeiron, from which the elements [are formed], is something that is different" - Anaximander of Miletus (610-656 B.C.)

The name ‘Apeiron’ hotel is derived from Anaximander’s 6th century BC cosmological theory. He believed the beginning of time to be an endless, unlimited mass, subject to neither old age nor decay; perpetually yielding fresh materials from which everything we can perceive are derived. Mankind was supposed by Anaximander to have sprung from some other species of animals, probably aquatic. But as the measureless and endless had been the prime cause of the motion into separate existences and individual forms, so also, according to the just award of destiny, these forms would at an appointed season suffer the vengeance due to their earlier act of separation, and return into the vague immensity whence they had issued. Thus the world, and all definite existences contained in it, would lose their independence and disappear in the "indeterminate." Wikipedia


The alternate name is Crescent Lagoon. The Crescent Lagoon is an underwater sculpted landscape with colourful corals & sea water plant life cultivated to create a unique & surreal world. On Level 00 there's a boat jetty in the building’s atrium & from this level there is access to the private beach, gardens, fresh water pools & the crescent lagoon. The building atrium is over 50m high. On Level 00 & -01 (under the beach) a Health Club and Spa is located containing private saunas, steam, treatment and massage rooms and several fresh water pools at different temperatures located outside as well as inside with different lighting at night. Large windows from the Level -01 Spa offer the opportunity to look into the lagoon and see the coral & fish; day and night. On Level 09 a helipad located 55m above the Arabian Gulf with bridge access across to the ninth floor of the hotel. On Level 11 an outdoor garden with views down the atrium through the building to the sea below & boat jetty as well as views out to sea. Dramatic surroundings with the remainder of the building lifting from the garden level, full size palm trees & fresh water pools. Pools in turn light the restaurant & art gallery below. On Level 28 a double height rooftop Butterfly Jungle level with a unique backdrop of the Arabian Gulf nearly 200m below. The temperature & humidity would be artificially controlled to make it a very relaxing & unique space. The hotel will also contains a number of private clubs, private cinemas, luxury boutiques, conference rooms, restaurants with menus from all around the world. Restaurants & bars (alcoholic & non alcoholic) distributed throughout building from Level 28 to the underwater restaurant at Level -01. The building’s shape creates natural shade on the brunt of the external facades to protect against the direct noon sunlight (which is harsh in the Gulf). The internal façade has louvers to prevent direct solar gain and the louvers are made up of solar cells as is the ribbon that frames the building and gives the Apeiron it’s name (meaning infinity). The energy calculations estimate that the building will generate two thirds of its own energy.

From www.worldarchitecturenews.com

Staying in this futuristic high tech hotel will no doubt be unaffordable for many but it is a wonder to behold.

I got a message from my best friend today. Her husband's cousin just 35, was going to meet his mom and it was late, he didn't want to drive as he was too sleepy so he decided to call a cab. On the way to the airport the taxi rammed into a stationary truck killing both.

She asked me how does a family deal with such a thing. I didn't know what to say.
This was my reply

Dear Bis
Death is so difficult for the ones left behind - it seems so arbitrary and sudden. I just don't know what to say - it's a concept that cannot be grasped as its not possible to experience it first then talk about it, at best it can just be mourned. I can't even begin to imagine what his mother must be going through. I am so sorry for the whole family.

It seems so senseless that we have to make plans when we don't even know about tomorrow. I think in that way human beings are really brave - noble even.

At first I used to think that we were arrogant to make plans when we didn't know what tomorrow could bring forth, but now I think we are courageous. God has put forth the most difficult task on our shoulders. He EXPECTS us to live, to make plans all the while knowing that all those plans can come to naught the next second.

My condolences again :(

So how do we do it?

Note: Death and the concept of death holds for people who don't believe in God as well - so what are your opinions?

Random

Erratic Much?

Hey everyone - have been really erratic with my blogging and looks like the coming two weeks are going to be insane. So I apologize for not commenting the way I do normally, as well as taking so long to reply to the comments left behind. Hopefully things should settle down soon. I miss not having time for my blog :(



Edited to add:- Before I forget again I must thank Blur and Michelle for giving me the 'Nice Matters' Award and also apologize for taking so long to say thank you. Marzie had given me this award earlier on and I had thanked her, but thank you again:)
And thank you to Titania for the 'You Make me Smile' award.

Well! Getting it made me smile:)


Warning :another postcard coming up........ *grins sheepishly*

I posted this on Paisley's wonderful blog called The Ink Pot, which I think is simply fabulous. I love contributing to it...

So today I though I'd publish the postcard version of the poem here. As you all know by now that I have a personality disorder bordering on obsessive-compulsive and indeed making postcards has joined the list of my various obsessions.

Nonsense Story Meme

Twisted Sisters from Twisted Sister...totally pissed off tagged me with this “nonsense story meme…”

I checked it out on their site and was laughing at the story - a much needed laugh. It is a clever meme which does not center around a person. It's a wacky story and its fun.

Here are the rules from Gracie’s site.
1. Copy and paste the story below, and the rules, on your blog.
2. Find out who you’re going to tag. (2-3 people, or more, if you wish)
3. Write one or two sentences to continue the story, and use the titles of the blogs you’re tagging or any word(s) associated with them as keywords in the links you include in your part of the story.
4. Remember to tell your taggees that you’ve tagged them!
5. Feel free to use this and start your own viral link story. I’d very much appreciate a link back to Mother’s Home! if you do. (Or a tag, if you prefer!)

Here’s the beginning:

Mother’s Home! the cave troll yelled. I have been out all day strangling chickens like CRAZY! for the evil Empress. All i want now is a MOment to myself, but i keep getting Linda talking Drivel, but that is better than a certain someone Mooing. Then suddenly what should appear but the NOT evil Empress and all her strangled chickens and Mags cooked them all up and made us a lovely cake to eat. Gracie wanted all the cake for herself but the NOT evil Empress was able to hack off a good sized slab for herself!!! Ha ha ha, Gracie belched loudly after eating all the scrumptious cake that Mags had baked and watched Callie scrappin’ with Sarge about who was gonna win Big Brother 8. Sarge started humming “Dixie,” and almost choked on the bite of cake in his mouth! So he got some coffee to go to wash down the cake. The coffee helped a bit but he had to vocalize before he started singing again so he began, “Mi mi mi mi mi mi mi mi mi mi mi mi…”

…who heard him all the way from Bloggingham Palace and said, “Where is that awful noise coming from? Is there a sick wailing Wacky Mom loose in the woods?” She said, “I’ll bet Songbird can teach him to sing!” but she was busy BONDing in the desert with Kathleen who sat writing heresy in her diary. She was absolutely no help. So Mi-Mi asked Kat to put him on the PP&P list to save his sorry soul. Alas, Ralph the Airhead made a new batch but the Patti-cakes fell in Polliwog’s Pond and nobody got to eat cake after all! It was all Bee’s fault (somehow). Feeling sorry for herself, she pranced over to Odat’s for a dance but she only heard strange mumbling…

That mumbling, however, resulted from The Alien Next Door trying to clone Justin Stanely’s Weblog. The meticulous and risky cloning occurred throughout several millennia, past, present, and future. Or so it seemed; no one could keep count. It was just too much. The mind-numbing years had finally sublimed the earth into a pristine Bobbarama. All well and good, said Bob, but whatever happened to the rules? Before anyone got hurt, however, enough stars fell and crashed to alert Sci-Fi Girl, who grabbed her laptop and returned to the woods, where Mimi’s Dating Profile popped up, allowing a lion to lie happily next to a lamb…

Now, the insane writer burst into the forest, kissing the dogwood and sat on the lion, spinning tales about sci-fi girl’s boyfriend, sci-fi guy, who had his eye on [her] DNA, which he was hoping to sell for anything goes. But just then the mad goat lady and the drowsey monkey pranced into the forest and sang a truly quiet symphony, which annoyed the insane writer.

“What’s that funky sound?” screamed sci-fi guy.

“Well, it sure isn’t a raspberry-latte!” grumbled the insane writer. “Get a grip, sci-fi guy! You’re my main character! I expect you to know how to split an atom! Ignore that woman and her indolent pet! Now, go and do your dastardly thing!”

Kissing the dogwood had been a lure, a trap set by the Mighty Morgan to take control of the BlogWood. Those petulant witches disguised as writers must be eradicated, them and their man slaves. She stuck her talons into the lion with A Twist and a Skewer till it rolled over and laughingly pleaded to go back to Neverland where it had been extremely happy. Her faithful followers, the Gargons grouped around her skirt folds, drooling and kissing her hem in adoration. “Here, take this poison” she commanded, “why? (asked) paisley“, the only rebel in the camp. “To blight their computers my little friends, it’s a special potion A Bit of This and a Dash of the Other“…she smiled mysteriously in her best Mae West accent and set off in search of the Englebert Humperdink Fan Club.

well they searched all over boricua in texas….till they found just write road… aha this was the place… if they could just get in the front row,, surely that was the place that screamed “flash your knickers here“… and oh yes… they would… in doing so they could only hope to distract the masses long enough for the twisted sisters to sneak in with the special potion they had cooked up………

Disguised as margarita's with colorful umbrellas, they sipped the potion while sitting in a nice place in the sun until they were laughing hysterically and begging for more comedy. Meanwhile, a random Magus roamed the woods searching for the golden icon that was being guarded by the Priory of Firefox.
The icon held all the secrets of the blogging world, and these secrets were to remain hidden for all time...

We have to climb this tree of magically changing heights to get to the dangerous land of Greg's Brain for there we can unlock the secret of the icon, the icon called Remedial Rumination - what did it mean?. They crossed amel's realm but the passageway was really dark, where is Titania Starlight when you need her we could do with some of her shining, said Meleah Rebeccah
The two of them looked at each other and then gazing into the abyss...they had an idea, an idea so brilliant....they laughed hysterically - Rubyshooz...but of course they will take us there

Random

Intentions v/s Actions [post # 100]

Ever since Greg's comments on my 'Is there an Athena living in my Head too' post, I have been grappling with the intention vs action issue, or debate, or whatever you want to call it.

If it's our actions that make us who we are, then what happens when we do apparently 'good' things, like being kind to someone or helping others but we do it with the bad/selfish/self-serving/fake intentions?

Then in the debate of intentions vs actions which one matters more, which one makes the cut so to speak. Out of the two, thinking about doing good but not translating it into action or doing good but not with the purest of intentions at all, which one is the better or worse.

I am really puzzled by this!

P.S. Unrelated - but this is my 100th post. So I made a little postcard via my latest obsession... making postcards ;)

Zakman made me the cutest poster ever and for that I am so touched – thank you from the pit of my heart

Fab 4

The beautiful HollyGl tagged me with the fun, "Fab Four" meme. So here it is. I made it on the postcard site and figured out how to grab a screen on a Mac [apple, shift, and 4 - the cursor becomes a bull's eye and then you select the area and bam it's done]. The original 1 and 2 can be found in the links provided. Then I read a post by Phil from Thoughtsparks in which he had mentioned a program called Jing which did just that. Thank you, Phil.



P.S.: Are you guys having problems with Blogger as well? For some people's new posts don't show then I have to check in Technorati and access them through there.

My Interview with Mike

Hey guys! I was interviewed by Mike Thomas for his blog. It is a great blog because it introduces you to other blogs and bloggers.

Thank you Mike, it was fun!

When I saw his mail I had gone for my brother-in-law's wedding and so I did the interview when I got back. He posted it a couple of days ago, but I didn't get a chance to blog about it

It would be really cool if you guys checked it out. And I think there is a voting thing on it.
I couldn't post about it earlier as my mom-in-law is over for a week and I have been out with her all day.
The interview can be found here.

P.S.: And a note
Also, we suggest that you ask your readers to vote for your blog as
the top three will receive $50, $35, and $15 respectively at the end
of the month.

For more info visit: http://bloginterviewer.com/about

Thanks again,

Mike Thomas

Misadventures of 2 Women & 2 Girls

To forewarn you dear reader the title is the most glamorous of the entire post, the more appropriate name for it should have been 'Blame it on the Wino. But I couldn't resist.

I will not start at the beginning but with a digression as I usually do, my new blogmate Sandip introduced me to this site where you can make postcards. So yesterday being an insomniac and not a little crazy, I stayed up all night checking out the site. Browsing my photo gallery for pictures to make an introductory postcard, I thought why not capture a mid-day-going-into-early night madness at my best friend's friends house.

She had her sister & sister-in-law over, during college holidays, so I thought we'd spend time together as they were leaving in a week's time. She picked me up Saturday before last and I took two bottles of wine thinking we'd cook and eat. Her mom and kid had gone to her brother's house so we had the house to ourselves. Well, the evening started innocently enough with her cooking and trying to teach me as well. She's an excellent cook and I, well I, just manage to get by.



We sat in her kitchen, the light was excellent, we thought we'd take some pictures. Not realizing I had not eaten the whole day, actually none of us had, we merrily sipped away at our wine as if there was no tomorrow. Very soon mild inebriation was setting in but we were still composed so to speak. Her younger brother who doesn't drink, came in gave us a disgusted look and left, because by now grown women were screaming and doing obscene things and laughing maniacally.

From the kitchen we went into the bathroom to smoke as there is no smoking in her house. Very soon my hubby [who was working on a Saturday] and hers [who had gone Scuba Diving] came back, mine before his. We insisted we wanted more wine, they desisted but could not say no.

Now drunk, food was forgotten, a lot of merriment ensued, but then her mom came back. Being wise and clever, the girls stayed in the room. I don't know what got into me [I have a problem I always think I have more control than I usually do] I actually had the nerve to go out and make polite conversation, at least try.

What a conversation, this was certainly like no less than the out of body experience that Quasar9 wrote about, when you are watching yourself make a fool of yourself and a voice inside is saying get out, get out now, yet you persist, you sit. I don't know what I was talking about so passionately and incoherently I might add, but I could see through the haze, the slightly pained expression on my husband's face, which signifies that I was just babbling.

Anyway the evening came to an end and I woke up in the morning with a hangover.

I wonder what happened to all that delicious food we cooked. And of course I have not gone to her house in two weeks...how will I face her mom again, I'm beyond mortified. But ahh! what fun was had by all!

If you want to see the postcard more clearly you can check it out the site, this was just a picture I took of it, as the posting to blog feature is not there yet - the postcard pictures

P.S: I FIGURED HOW TO TAKE A SCREEN SHOT ON MY MAC SO NOW IT'S THAT AND NOT THE PHOTOGRAPH OF THE SCREEN

Seven ingredients of me!

Mariuca tagged me for this meme called the 7 P's, which was created by WVB to learn more about the blogs they read on a regular basis. So here are My 7 Ps.


Passion:







Purpose:




Keep Evolving

Pursuit:
Knowledge

Position:



Trying to ascend

Pummelling:
My Laziness & procrastination [at least trying to]

Progress: S....l.... o.... w...

Personality:
Friendly but slightly aloof [Like a cat]

P.S.: HollyGl, I promise your meme is the next one, I want to make it pretty like this one so give me a little more time as that one is more extensive than this one.
See one of my P's is laziness and procrastination ;-D

Why I love Blogging

I was thinking about what an amazing experience this has been. I never thought when I first started, that blogging would become such an important part of my life and would be so instrumental in teaching me to be aware of me, of other people and my relation in respect to them.

Without thinking about it consciously, I found myself imbibing the things learnt from blogging, the lessons others generously taught me by sharing their stories and opening their hearts. I learnt that sometimes we have to make the first move and initiate a conversation, and that perhaps the other person is just as shy as we are.

Man is a social animal and he does best in interaction with others he can’t be an island. But for those of us who cannot be as socially accomplished as others, blogging is such a blessing. Because here every voice is translated into words and the distraction of a physical self is not there. It’s you and your reader in an intimate bond of focused intensity on what you are saying.

Of course sometimes it’s easier to be a touched up version of yourself while writing and edit your flaws and mute them into the background and you always have the time lag to put yourself in order.

But this freedom to be who you are or who you want to be is liberating and is in most cases treated with responsibility and truth.

I have read in many blogs questions and doubts about the friendships formed here but to that I would say that’s a lot like any friendship anywhere. Here we share our innermost secrets and in the real world we share a beer.

The one thing that you learn is that no matter what you have felt and what you have gone through you are not alone someone else has been through the same if not worse and when you see them dealing with it with grace you are tempted to do so as well.


This post was inspired by getting a lovely award from The Twisted Sisters whose blog is unique… it’s funny, it's sad at times, it’s honest and brave and I want to say I love your Blog!

In turn I present this award to EVERYONE on my blog roll. Some are very new additions which I recently discovered and others are blogs from when I started...
I love all your blogs that's why I visit everyday!

Thank you for being a part of my life

My Blogroll

• ..........why paisley????
• A Great Pleasure
• Amel's Realm
  
• Analysing It
• Circle of Friends
• Compassionate Council
• Blur ting
• Captain Picard's Jornal
• Crisis and Management
• Crows Feet
• fb!
• Fearless Philosophy for Free Minds
• Finding Life's Enchantments
• Gazing into the Abyss
• Greg's Brain
• Greg's Writing Blog
• Greg's Writing Process
• Intellectual Hedonism
• It's a Schmitty Life
• Looking Beyond the Cracked Window
• Mariuca - wishing on a falling star
• MeleVision: TV Junkie
• Mid-Life Journey
• Momma Mia Meaculpa
• Muffin53 aka empress Bee [of the High Sea]
• My Bucket of Parts
• Necessary Skills
• New Beginnings
• Old Things under the Sun
• Picking up Pieces
• Pixels from the Edge
• Psychosomatic Wit
• Quasar9
• Remedial Rumination
• Revellian
• Seiche
• Tales from a tree
• The Domestic Minx
• THE INK POT
• The Naked Soul
• The Real Mother Hen
• The View From Here - Mike French's Personal Blog
• Thought Sparks
• TorchWood
• Totally Pissed Off
• Unloaded
• W for Wonder
• Woman: God's Masterpiece

Jogging to Beethoven

I discovered something awesome today. I was in the gym upstairs and usually while exercising I have dance music on, to be able to jog intermittently and at the end of the 45 minutes I am dead. Since I am not really regular I always end up a pushing myself too hard and the result afterwards is body in trauma and head spinning. Of course the feeling of accomplishment is there and the endorphins are making their rounds but you come back to your apartment feeling anything but relaxed.

Today I was listening to WGBH's podcast of classical music on my iPod instead. They were playing Beethoven's Violin Sonata No. 9 in A major, commonly known as the Kreutzer Sonata. One of his best-known sonatas written for piano and violin. After which more Beethoven followed. I can’t tell you how amazing the synchronicity between the mind and body that followed was. I was so taken by surprise. Jogging was easier it wasn't the frenetic pushing yourself to do 30 more seconds – it was as if the mind was orchestrating the body in perfect movements and there was a feeling of calm. I was so surprised because although my electronic selection for my exercise routine does give me the energy. It is a very different energy from the one that I felt today. That energy is like the artificial Red Bull effect, today it was organic flowing like good chi throughout my body. I exercised far longer than ever and far more intensely but felt no strain.

The entire day my state of mind had been like a disturbed ECG report with spikes of irritation and crankiness. But at the end of an hour of the treadmill today I felt what a very creased pair of trousers would feel, if it could have feelings, after a bout of thorough professional ironing. I was fascinated, of course it’s not the first time I had heard classical music, but it was the first time I had paired exercising with it. So I researched into sound waves, frequencies and our bodily reactions to it.

Low frequency sound waves make us uncomfortable. The lowest are called infrasound, sounds that emanate from machinery and stuff in the house like ventilation and cooling/heating systems. Low frequency waves can cause symptoms such as nausea, headaches, fatigue, insomnia, vibration of internal organs and a feeling of oppression.

This is what I found on the net in an ezine article by Tania Gabrielle French …

On the other hand, certain high frequency sounds literally energize your mind. Scientists have found that sounds from 5,000 to 8,000 hertz recharge your brain’s batteries.

If your CD collection includes music by Mozart, Baroque Music or even Tibetan Chants, keep listening. In numerous studies, these sounds have been found to charge the cortex of the brain and stimulate health and wellness.

At 120-125 hertz you begin to hear the kick drums and bass guitar common to rock music. These lower frequencies produce the opposite effect - they drain us.

Why is this?

Because they have wave-lengths longer than we are tall, which is why lower frequencies are FELT as well as heard. You can feel this low frequency full-body sensation at dance clubs and rock concerts. Or from listening to most FM radio stations.

Since we are mostly exposed to low frequency sounds in the media, I strongly suggest you balance your brain and body by listening to high frequency classical music at least once a day. It’s easy and effortless – and great for you.

So next time you are exercising forget your usual disco/hip hop/dance/electro/techno collection and pick up Beethoven instead!

A Bizarre Thought/Question!

I have been thinking about the things we cling to - the memories that have such an effect on us that they become the glasses that we view the world with. The shit that happened to us when we were young, the shit we did to ourselves. Reading various blogs on how people unconsciously or consciously make decisions that they know will bring them nothing but pain and degradation made me wonder why we all react the way we do.

The 'broken' do it out of a sense of self that insists that they deserve the worst of treatments and that every bad thing that happens to them is because of how they acted in the past and that they deserve nothing but the worst and that is all they can handle or ever want.

But what happens when something terrible happens to someone in their past but their brain just wipes it out, except for a few haunting traces? Take for example a hypothetical case of a person who might have been abused as a child or have had some other horrible thing happened to them but they don't recall or remember it clearly. Maybe they have buried it so deep inside that except for a few flashes they don't remember anything else. They don't talk about it or tell it to anyone and even if they ever did, it would be in a passing sentence.

So what happens then - when you don't consciously remember something. When you have no particular person to hate or blame categorically? Does it affect your behavior subconsciously? If one blanks out a certain period in one's life and remembers just very distant glimpses of it - does the past then count?

Think about it if you can't recall the memory of pain or recall it faintly... how much does it matter? As much as you recall it?

If you can't remember what happened.... does it then count?

Do you want to know a secret????

Ss...secret...The very word sounds so alluring. It's like being invited into a club where only very intimate friends are allowed to go. When someone tells you that they are about to tell you a secret - there is an immediate action. Both physical and mental. It's a visceral reaction.

Your heart starts to pound slightly and adrenaline makes its rounds, energizing your senses. The mental effect is of course more subtle and happens on many levels. There is pleasure at being a secret keeper as well as a certain apprehension.

In my previous post I had talked about how we assign a complete imagery and various connotations to words and the word secret is another that fits the category. It brings a plethora of images and meanings to our mind.

When I looked it up in dictionary.com I got the following result

Secrecy
Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia - Cite This Source

Secrecy is the practice of sharing information among a group of people, which can be as small as one person, while hiding it from others. That which is kept hidden is known as the secret. Secrecy is often controversial. Many people claim that, at least in some situations, it is better for everyone if everyone knows all the facts—there should be no secrets. The closely allied, perhaps even synonymous notions of confidentiality and privacy are often considered virtues. William Penn wrote, "It is wise not to seek a secret; and honest, not to reveal one."

Natural and sociological secrecy
Secrecy is built into biology. One reason for sexual reproduction and speciation may be to allow members of a species to share genetic improvements without those improvements becoming available to competitors . Animals, including humans (in some cases), conceal the location of their den or nest from predators. Humans attempt to consciously conceal aspects of themselves from others due to shame, or from fear of rejection, loss of acceptance, or loss of employment. On a deeper level, humans attempt to conceal aspects of their own self which they are not capable of incorporating psychologically into their conscious being. Families sometimes maintain "family secrets", obliging family members never discuss disagreeable issues concerning the family, either with those outside the family and sometimes even within the family. Many "family secrets" are maintained by using a mutually agreed-upon construct (an official family story) when speaking with outside members. Agreement to maintain the secret is often coerced through "shaming" and reference to family honor. The information may even be something as trivial as a recipe.

There is nothing more decadent and appealing to the voyeur in us then to be invited to a secret... to glimpse into someone else's secret and share our own anonymously and that's exactly the brilliant idea Paisley has.

The Mode:
She has started a new blog called secret..secret...i've got a secret where you can anonymously drop off secrets all you have to do is just post an anonymous comment... it will be emailed to her and she will tell the whole world your secret!!!!!

I think its a great idea and it can be quite cathartic to let go of secrets in the cloak of anonymity. It's exciting because your secret is out there yet your identity still remains a secret. It's like you get to keep it and share it at the same time.
Kind of Cool. So hurry and email your secrets...
...we'll be the members of the club of secrets
Oh my how very glamorous!!

Of Tags, Memes and Awards

Let me start with an explanation and an apology - I have two deadly nemeses that follow me quite relentlessly [actually I have loads but these two are the ones who were the culprits in this case]... they are laziness and forgetfulness.

So I have been meaning to do this meme/tag I don't know the right phrase that Jean Chia from A Great Pleasure, tagged me with and it took a lot longer than I had anticipated.

So here goes... with apologies for the delay but the deadline was 26th August and at least I didn't miss that. I don't like to miss deadlines

The meme is about completing at least seventeen out of the following twenty seven sentences. For every completed meme before 26th August, Idham will contribute RM127.00 on your behalf to Darul Izzah Orphanage.

1. A person is only as good as ...

2. Friendship is always ... better if you work at it

3. To love is to ...let go of rationality

4. Money makes me ...

5. I miss ... my cats.

6. My way of saying I care is by ... doing something thoughtful

7. I try to spread love and happiness by ...

8. Pick the flowers when ...ever you want them

9. To love someone is to ... accept them

10. Beauty is ... vital.

11. When I was thirteen, what I remember ...

12. When I was twenty one, I remember ...

13. I am most happy when ... I have no obligations or deadlines

14. Nothing makes me happier than ...

15. If I can change one thing, I will change ...

16. If smiles were banned, ... the world wouldn't have nice looking people

17. Wouldn't it be nice if we could ... fly

18. If you want to ask me to smile while taking my picture ... you just have to point the camera in my direction;)

19. Money is not everything but ... it sure does make life easier

20. The most touching moments I have experienced is ...

21. I smile when ... I want to

22. When I am happy, I ... am great company

23. If only I don't have to ... then ... I'll do anything

24. The best thing I did yesterday was ...

25. If I ever write a book, I will give it this title ...

26. One thing I must do before I die is ... live [how utterly corny;)]

27. Doing this meme, I feel like ... I should've done it earlier

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The second meme was not that long ago and I have a valid reason for the delay, I wasn't in town. Mariuca awarded me the opportunity to dream about the things I'd do if I had a million dollars.
Hmm! Very interesting

If I had a $1 million - I'd travel the world over with my friends in style, invest some, give some to people who needed it.

*** Start Copy ***

Instructions :
Proposition: If you Have $1,000,000.00…………………………
Requirements: continue above sentences
Tag Mode: 5 blogger

1st - You leave their blog and post link and add to the list below.
2nd - Let the blogger you want to tag know they been tagged by comment in their blog or etc.What They Do With Their $1 Million

What They Do With Their $1 Million

1. SYH will spend for Family

2. Miche will give to the needy

3. Montessorimum will keepsake

4. Lovely Mummy will spend & save

5. MummyInVain will fully utilise

6. Babyfiona will buy house and open business

7. MonkeyWong will go for a long vacation

8. Emila Yusof will realise her dream

9. Mariuca will open a Perfume Gallery

10.Janice Ng will upgrade house and go for long vacation

11.Hin will blog to donate for charity

12.Bobo will invest in property and let her parents go on a holiday

13.Joe will buy a house and gives to charity

14.Brad will spend all of his money on foolish gadgets

15. Adrian will spend it all

16.Nick will waste away his small fortune

17.Santa will give it all to needy children

18.Brown Baron will hold a $17,500 blog contest

19.Bobby will be on a World vacation forever

20.Seiche will Fix you but good

21.Barrett will do A LOT of Traveling

22.Jean Chia will open a 'pet's clothing cum cafe' store
23. Random Magus will travel with friends, invest and give to charity

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And now a special thanks to Mariuca who has two beautiful blogs and is a really sweet and caring person herself. She gave me a Nice Matters award and it came at the righ t moment when I was pondering over how sometimes in life it's the not-so-nice people who get ahead and how when you're nice people simply take advantage of your goodness. So thanks Marzie I needed to remember that sometimes its nice to be nice just because that's who you are...and some people do appreciate that

According to the originator of the Nice Matters award it is intended for “those that are just nice people, good blog friends, and those that inspire good feelings and inspiration! Those that care about others, that are there to lend support, or those that are just a positive influence in our blogging world!”

What's in a meaning?

Have you noticed how we have assigned negative meanings to some words which by their definition are not but the connotation we give them seem to make them 'not right'. I was having a conversation with one of my best friends and we were talking about God and one of my favorite books, 'Mister God this is Anna', and I was explaining her how it said that God had to be empty.

'Mister god was a bit different from a flower. A yellow flower that didn’t want yellow light was called yellow by us because that is what we saw. You couldn’t say that about Mister god. He wanted everything so he did not reflect anything back; we couldn’t possibly see him could we. So as far as we are concerned Mister God is empty. Not empty because there was truly nothing there but because he accepted everything. Of course you could cheat if you wanted to; you could wear a colored glass marked “MISTER GOD IS LOVING” or bit marked “MISTER GOD IS KIND”, but then of course you would miss the whole nature of Mister God”

While I was explaining this to her I didn't have the benefit of reproducing it like I have here, but in the span of my explaining there was a pause in which the word 'empty' seemed almost sacrilegious.

And then we went on to define 'empty' and we realized that somehow the word 'empty' connotes something else. It's meaning is is nothing bad but when we hear 'empty' we immediately envision things like 'sadness', 'barren' etc etc.

Hey All

I'm back and its sooooo good to be back and I missed you all so much here's hoping you missed me a bit!!!!

Thank You & See You In 10 Days

There are moments when you are totally taken in by surprise but in a good way and this was one of them. I was reading Jean Chia's blog A Great Pleasure and I came across a really sweet post in which she was giving awards to bloggers - the special thing about this award is that it is personalized and one of the most unique ones I've seen. It's actually a smoochie and is personally created by her. So thank you so much for your kind words. I'm really touched {{a big hug and kisses}}

"Amber: I know of your existence through Woman: Gods Masterpiece. It was a great interview. From there, I've got to know that you are no ordinary woman. You are an inspiration to others. I've been wanting to know more about you. Glad that I have the chance now. :)"

I'm going to disappear for a week or ten days, will pop in occasionally but probably won't be able to post. Going for brother-in-law's wedding tomorrow morning and will be back in a week!

Will miss you all... muahh!!!

Johari Window

Hey! Sorry have been AWOL recently - was really busy with college, it was the week before summer vacations and a couple of other things were on my mind. The last course we had was quite fascinating really - it was called 'Sustaining Superior Performance', I know it sounds like a title out of a self-help book and the course was a lot like that, but it was great fun. The teacher was good and the classes quite unique, a mixture of practical exercises, games and just a little bit of lecture. I learnt a lot about myself, for example I learnt that I am really very critical about myself - my own harshest judge.

There was this exercise in which we had a questionnaire of around 40 questions and we had to fill it out, then we chose a partner and had a talk with them for 10 minutes, of course since we have been together for almost two years now we knew each other quite well. After that we had to fill the same questionnaire for our partners. In the end we had the two sets of questionnaire with us one in which we had assessed ourselves and one in which our partner had assessed us.

Almost all the class realized the point that I have been making for a long time i.e. 'What I think of me is not necessarily what others see me as'. I got proof in class

The concept of Johari Window is basically an exploration of the different personalities we have, the ones that others see and the one that is private to us.

Johari Window, named after the first names of its inventors, Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham, is a communication model that illustrates human interaction - it is a way of looking at how our personality expresses itself.

A four paned "window," divides personal awareness into four different types, as represented by its four quadrants: open, hidden, blind, and unknown. Each quadrant represents different kind of personal information. The Johari Window is called window because the lines dividing the four panes are like window shades, which can move as interaction progresses.

The quadrant that is called ‘Open’ is our public personality, this is the face we portray to people and we know about it. The obvious things like ‘extrovert’, ‘talkative’, etc things that are obvious to everyone, including of course the physical aspect of it all 'fat', 'thin', 'pretty' and so on. All information that is open – things I know about myself, and that you know about me. For example things about me that you can siphon of reading my blog, the comments I leave, and of course all that I reveal about my feelings and my likes and dislikes. As we get to know each other better this ‘Open’ personality becomes more accentuated.

Known to self, unknown to others is the ‘Hidden’ quadrant; this contains things that are known to only me, the stuff that I don’t reveal to anybody. All of us while writing in our blogs decide how much we want to share and what we don’t want others to know. Things that we might be ashamed of, things we might want others to never know about ourselves. This quadrant we share with very few if any and even then there are things that we keep only to ourselves. The process in which I shift things from this quadrant to the ‘Open’ quadrant is called Self-disclosure, the process of opening the window wider, which to many of us is a very scary process.

For me the most fascinating quadrant is the ‘Blind Spot’, because this is where others know things about me that I don’t know myself, thus the name, 'blind spot'. I might think I am very introverted or socially challenged or whatever but others might think the opposite. I might think I am not a very good listener or I am lazy but others may have a totally different opinion. This is the quadrant that made me realize that I am just too hard on myself. And since this is knowledge or information that we don’t know about ourselves it’s not something we are putting on as a show for others, its knowledge about ourselves that genuinely shocks us.

The last quadrant titled Unknown also called Grey Areas’ quite frankly doesn’t make any sense to me, as it is knowledge that I don’t have of myself and neither do you. Maybe this is the root of all our psychoses the secret behind our actions – the unconscious.

If you want to see an interactive model and practice it a partner check out this website interactive johari

Judge Not???

These days everyone emphasizes that you should not make judgments or criticize anyone's actions and we are ‘judgmental’ if we find something that, we god forbid, pronounce any judgment on, silent or otherwise. We should mind our own business and judge not lest we be judged.

If I see something and make a judgment about it, does that imply that I think I’m more virtuous than the other person? Or I have less compassion? Or that I don’t understand the complexities of life and that there are no black and whites just shades of grey? Or that I won’t make the same judgment on myself? Or that I think I'm not capable of making that mistake myself?

I’m sorry but I don’t think that’s true…

Leaving out the whole debate of right and wrong being relative there are things that we see which are blatantly wrong because you know those are actions that will lead to consequences that will hurt innocent people unnecessarily. There do exist some actions that are reprehensible from any point of view. On the level of plain decency, on the levels of friendship, on the levels of personal trust.

The word ‘morals’ is actually derived from the Latin word; ‘mores’ meaning customs so can be used for men’s customary ways of judging conduct. If there exist cultures that appreciate innocent people getting hurt and lifelong friendships being betrayed, I don’t know them.

Forget ethics, forget religion, somethings are wrong on the deepest level of humanity. There are some actions that you don't care so much about the 'right', 'wrong', 'morality' or 'immorality' of them, you just shudder at the disrespect of another human being that it causes and you just pray to God that it doesn't happen to you or you don't cause it to others.

So go ahead judge me for being judgmental...

Is there an Athena living in my head too?

This is something I've written in my Blogcataog profile so it's not like a new discovery for me - but last night it struck me again and each time it does, it's a shock. This is what I had written

"I have now reached the conclusion that what I think of me might not be what others see me as".

And sometimes the two might actually be totally opposing views. So who's right and who's wrong or is it just relative? I mean if you think about it - the person who knows most about 'me' should be me - it is I who live in my head not others, right?

We are the ones who will have maximum knowledge of ourselves because let's face it, we think about ourselves more than anyone else ever will. Yet don't they say that to be able to see things clearly we need to put distance in between?

We had gone to a friend's get together yesterday, and it was one of those days that I was feeling particularly antisocial and wanting to stay home in bed with a good book, not even on my computer, that was the extent to which I felt the need to be alone. Anyway I had to go. We reached and I noticed myself acting like a consummate socialite, laughing and joking and entertaining people and actually having fun. There were a few people I was meeting for the first time, naturally seeing me like this they assumed that I was a very social, happy, jolly person - an opinion that I do not hold true of me at all.

In the course of the conversation this girl mentioned to me how I was such a happy go lucky person and blah blah. Of course, I thought to myself, you are seeing me today, what would you know. I tried to acquaint her with my view of me and she just gave me a blank stare, I kept insisting that tonight was just one of those surprising nights.

Two people really can't see the same phenomenon, argue many - so if there's this divide between our perception of ourself and someone else's - which one is me? I know they are all part of us, the faces we put on and the roles we play, are facets of our personality.

Whether it's the pretend us or the social us or the snooty us, doesn't make a difference, because we know all to be part of our nature, but to people we meet once, that is the person that is real. So if I tell you, I'm this or that, and you meet someone who has met me when I wasn't like that, who would you believe - especially if you knew both of us for the same time?

This girl I met, who I will probably never meet again, has an image of me, which to me is the total opposite of me but it's the only truth she has of me and will remember me as that for however long she does remember.

And this is just one example of strangers, sometimes this divide is felt when someone who knows us pretty well reveals something about us and we get shocked - that's not me, we think. In those cases who do we believe? Do we doubt our own self observation, or do we doubt whether the other person has understood us, or is it that our thoughts do not translate into our behaviour?

Each possibility poses a unique problem of its own - if the other person has not understood us then how do we make them do so, or will it be an exercise in futility?

Or are they actually right? We know them to be rational and if they have reached this conclusion it would be after observation of our behaviour ergo it must be correct. Then this would mean that we don't practice what we preach.

The whole question of who we really are then becomes quite problematic.

Or is it the case that we see ourselves with rose colored glasses and aren't who we think.

Or maybe, we have an entirely different person who lives hidden inside our head like Athena in Zeus' head, ready to spring out fully formed, any time.

Just tantalizing us with glimpses but never truly revealing themselves either to us or others.

It's quite fascinating and a little bit spooky - I wonder if that person would look like us as well?

"Is it oblivion or absorption
when things pass from our minds?
- Emily Dickinson

Thomas Moore says when some new thought, feeling, or notion presents itself, we can't forget it or overlook it.

When we have invited it in or agree to live in its company, maybe then it won't be such a preoccupation.

It will be forgotten - not exiled into oblivion, but absorbed into being.


I'm pondering this over - where will they be absorbed? in the brain? in the mind?

meanwhile would love to know what you think.

A Belated Thank You!

Sorry for taking such a long time in thanking all my kind and sweet friends for these fantastic awards. I am so happy to receive them, as I write this I can clearly remember when I first started this blog and would go to other people's blogs and see all the friends they had and the wonderful camaraderie shared. I would be a little envious and now I can't believe that I too am part of such wonderful and caring circle.

It's so great and I'm so happy that I discovered blogging. It's become such an integral part of my life that everything that happens in the course of the day and all thoughts and internal debates that I have, immediately start taking the shape of a post with the appropriate headline.

I actually use everything learned from this medium in daily life as well, since I'm a 'schmoozer' here which in life outside the computer I'm not, I sometimes replicate things I do here, for example now I'll actually pick up the phone and call someone randomly much like going to a friend's blog and commenting.

So thank you again for making me a part of your life on the net!

HollyGl who is not only beautiful but also incredibly sweet and talented and the remarkable Rebecca from Pixels of the Edge bestowed on me the Creative Blogger award



This award originated with Christy at Writers Reviews, and is "for those who bring unique and creative elements to their blogs. For those who incorporate art, music, creative writing, photo's, and other beautiful visual effects into their website. For those who put a unique spin on things and come up with new ideas. This award is for the artsy, the funky, the inventor, and even the rebel. This award is for those creative individuals who stand out from the crowd."

The blogs I have chosen are either very creative or a showcase of creative things, so whenever you visit you are surrounded by pretty things

Tigergirletsy - She makes really funky unique jewelry which you can check out at her blog
In Cinq - What an amazing idea for a blog, Adria's in cinq pairs the visual with the literary. It is a collection of self portraits sent by different people
Mariuca's perfume gallery - It's all about fragrance in the 'scent sational scent stations' as she calls it. Marzi likes to collect miniature perfumes and this blog is the shrine to her collection. I think it's such a cool idea
Mike French - He's writing this great book 'The Dandelion Tree' and each new chapter get unveiled once he gets 25 diggs, not only is the book great so is the blog visually. You have to read the book
Done4Fun - Silvia's Sketchblog - This blog is an art blog and is a simply beautiful collection of the artists sketches

Find the rules at the end of the post

Seiche whose wonderful blog I recently discovered, gave me the Thoughtful Blogger award and reading the description I was really happy to receive this award, especially from someone who really is such a thoughtful blogger himself - a real gentleman.

The Thoughtful Blogger award was started by Christy at Writer's Reviews and this particular award is... For those who answer blog comments, emails, and make their visitors feel at home on their blogs. For the people who take others feelings into consideration before speaking out and who are kind and courteous. Also for all of those bloggers who spend so much of their time helping others bloggers design, improve, and fix their sites. This award is for those generous bloggers who think of others.

Reading the above description, these are the people I thought of, they fit one or all of the descriptions of a thoughtful blogger

Bobby Revell - For helping me out numerous times with blogging and especially with the recent technorati fave train
Peter Haslem - For acknowledging each and every person's comments and being one of the first bloggers to help me out with my blog
Greg Although he's expressed an aversion to awards, I'll still go ahead, for giving great input and fabulous ideas and answers to various questions
The Real Mother [For being the first one to ever comment on my blog and making me feel so happy]

Blur ting [Again for being one of the first people to welcome me here]

And now, the small print...

1) If you have received an award simply choose either the dark or light background image and save it to your files, then post it proudly on your blog!

2) Pass the award on to five other people, you can choose any of the awards from the series, you do not have to pass out the exact award you received. Choose whichever of the awards below that you'd like to give out. You can give out one of each or five of the same one, whatever you prefer.

3) You can change the size and color of awards to suit your blog, that's up to you, it's your blog, just leave the titles the same.

4) Please link back to this post so that people can read these rules and so that the meanings of the awards will not be lost.

5) If you feel that you or a friend are deserving of an award and no one has given one to you yet then email me at sayhitochristy(at)hotmail.com and tell me about your website!

Against the Tide!

One of my favorite books is Herman Hesse's Siddhartha, the story of a young man in search of the ultimate truth or meaning of life. He becomes a wandering ascetic, but starving himself of all the world's pleasures doesn't bring him any closer to the truth, then he goes over to the opposite side and becomes a decadent hedonist, losing himself to a world of titillation and pleasure but that merely eats away his spirits and he becomes like the rest of the lost herd.

At the end he realizes that being nothing, doing nothing, just being - being empty, neither a practitioner nor a devotee, neither meditating nor reciting, just putting his ear to the river to blending in with the world, will he find his truth.

In Taoist philosophy, the river is a metaphor for life, never still, always changing. According to the natural order of things the river will always flow towards the sea. If we surrender life will carry us, wherever we want to go. The river's flow is yielding yet strong , with its ability to maneuver itself around all obstacles, its fluidity making it's path easier. It changes constantly to achieve its singular goal - that being to join the sea.

Yet I have always found myself opposing the river, maybe some of the disquietude in my soul can be blamed to not relinquishing myself to the the flow of things and letting things happen the way they are supposed to be. Maybe I try to find the quickest route and hurry and multi-task and get impatient for things to happen, for me to get the answers to all of life's riddles. Maybe I am stupid to be the angry wave, crashing and fighting against the gentle yet powerful river, going against the flow. Not allowing it time to carry me to the sea - swimming upstream for no reason - trying not to get enchanted by the shapes in the cave.

Maybe I should stop the struggle, do nothing, forget the journey and just swim along the decided sea, avoiding a different course. The calm of life's natural flow - invites me to surrender, to carry me, inviting me to trust it and let it make me forget. Yet how can I not know, how can I float blindly. How can I not want to to flee the cave and come back and take you with me?

The Taoist principle of Wu Wei , or the art of inaction says that if we do nothing, matters resolve themselves, essential to Wu Wei is avoidance of exerting pointless effort and contradicting nature. Abandoning tension to arrive at a quietude.

But if I stop asking won't I stop being? Am I vain to want to be - to be the one who goes out and comes back for the rest?