Saturday, April 28, 2007

Appearances can be deceptive

You know those moments when you when you get struck my an amazing revelation actually realization is a better word. There is a clarity to your thoughts and you actually feel like you have evolved a little more. Well I just love those moments. They are your personal truth other people might have had the same discovery long ago and when you tell them they might look at you as if to say, 'well of course, whats new about that. Its so simple'. But still to you that discovery whatever it may be is new. I'm digressing again.

I had my moment of truth a few weeks ago, we had gone out with friends and some other of their friends had joined the party. There was this girl who I always used to think was a bit snobbish and reserved because she was really intelligent and had a fantastic job. To be honest I felt a bit intimidated by her. My problem is the first impression people have of me is that I'm a silly frivolous girl who's only interested in fashion and has a brain of a poodle, the fact that I used to be in the media doesn't help. I don't correct this impression. In fact its fun to play that role.
Anyway I always thought that she thought I was not up to her mark or whatever... somehow that day we got talking. And to my utter amazement I find out that she thought the exact thing I did i.e. she thought that I thought of her as plain and boring.

So this super successful girl who looks like nothing ever fazes her was insecure as well. We all are but we don't show it, in our effort to hide it we disguise it behind a lot of different things, for some it's arrogance,, for some it is humor and some hide behind a super confident persona. But inside we are seeking others approval and yet at the same time telling ourself that we don't care what others might think of us.

I sat there reeling...we never realize that the person who appears really confident in front of us and who we think is giving us an attitude might be feeling the exact same thing we are.

So the next time we get intimidated by someone or are ready to make a judgment, we should take a moment and think that maybe they are feeling the exact same thing - may be they are nervous about our impression of them as well. Just because someone looks perfect doesn't mean that they feel the same way inside. A lot of times really pretty people genuinely see themselves as ordinary looking, a lot of really intelligent people think of themselves as average [I have a friend who I think is super brilliant but she honestly doesn't see that about herself]

So appearances can be deceptive... to end with yet another cliche it is always advisable to put yourself in the other person's shoes. Even if they look like they may not fit!


Peter Haslam said...

Very astute observation and leads to less misunderstanding. Enjoyed the post

Random Magus said...

Thanks - and i really enjoyed yours

Blur Ting said...

You've hit the spot! I share the same thoughts actually. In fact, I often feel this way..about not being smart or attractive enough.

Adam said...

Hiya Random, thanks for your comment on I posted a reply to your question. I hope you are having a good day.

The Real Mother Hen said...

We human are so often driven by love and fear... :(

Gregory A. Becerra said...

People that are really good at one thing are really bad at something else. The better someone is at one thing, the more other things they are bad at.

Don't spend so much time in your head, it's bad for you. Just enjoy whoever you are with or whatever you are doing.