In a conversation a long time ago, it suddenly came up that the only person we love is ourselves.
Think about it! Why do we love others.... because they make us feel good about ourselves.
They endorse our belief in ourselves. Their love and acceptance tell us 'oh we are good, that's why so an so loves me'.
We are always seeking redemption and justification and approval and a loved one gives us that.
Now we are not really being selfish the person who loves us is fulfilling this function for us and alternately we are for them.
So parasitic it might be but not totally selfish.
This is one of the empty spaces that i am always trying to fill... what is the definition of love and is love selfless.
If anything were selfless that would mean it's without a self and how can love be love if it didn't have a self?