1. No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
2. The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
3. When reviewing your notes before an exam, the most important ones will be illegible.
4. The more studying you did for the exam, the less sure you are as to which answer they want
5. Everything you like is bad for you.
6. The Psychological Prognosis: Love is a form of temporary insanity curable only by marriage.
7. The Rat Race: If there's one rat in a room full of nice men, he'll hit on you first.
8. Every recipe ever written includes one ingredient that you do not have in your kitchen. If you attempt to go buy this ingredient, you will realize you are missing another one.
9. A dropped nut will seek the least level of accessibility.
10. It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
11. If the facts do not confirm the theory, they must be disposed of.
12. To err is human, to forgive is not company policy.
13. Machines that have broken down will work perfectly when the repairman arrives.
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