I have often wondered if when we see our face in the mirror it is the same face other people see when they look at us. Of course there will be some correspondence or similarity between what I see myself as and the what others see me as...but I wonder how much?If the phrase 'Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder' is true than I wonder how big the difference would be.
Sometimes when you think you are not exactly looking your best [euphemism for pretty darned awful] you'll end up getting get compliments and think to yourself, 'huh really?' or 'wonder what he/she wants'. And when you think you're looking good someone will ask, 'What's the matter, you look pulled down'. And all you can do is smile inanely...
And not only that, aren't there days when you seem different to even your own self, some days you like what you see in the mirror and then there are days that you want to break the damn mirror...
Of course it's not our face that changes [its a different story if a zit shows up unannounced and unwanted] but our brain/mind whatever the jargon you want to use, tricks us.
And then of course there is the 'why now?' phenomenon... have you noticed how everything looks perfect when you are just about to go to bed.. hair is shiny, skin's glowing ... but fast forward to when you want to dazzle on a special evening... no matter what you do nothing seems to work. Probably that's something to do with expectations... I have found everything in life turns out the most fabulous when your expectations are really low!
I am sure you have said many a times or thought many times that someone thinks they are better looking than they really are..but perhaps they see themselves that way and its not an act.
What if we appeared slightly different to everyone that saw us?
Wouldn't it be fascinating if we could have alternate views of ourselves [without the help of psychogenics ideally] and be able to see what others see when they look at our face?
I really would love to see myself through someone else's eyes...physically. Because the only way we see ourself is through a mirror or a photograph... not the way others see us. Not truthfully! Mirrors can lie and so can photographs!
Actually it's a pretty funny thought that others might have more of an accurate picture of what we look like than we do ourselves... because come to think of it we only see reproductions of our face. Second generation information.
So wouldn't you like to see yourself through someone else's eyes??? Literally!!!
24 comments:
It is so truly difficult to live w/ sober judgement of ourselves. Sometimes I'm elated or feeling quite strange. Being a good listener to the right voices is a great gift, one I want to grown in. Thanks for the soulful post. You think deeply
Indeed Random,
we all at some time would like to see ourselves thru other eyes
I would even like to see inside the Mind of others, not just what they say or tell you they believe, but literally their deepest inner thoughts.
Mind you the rest of the Time, I'm quite happy looking inside my own Mind, and enjoy looking at other thru my 'own' eyes
Happy in my own skin, so to speak.
'Happy in your skin'
That's truly something to be treasured. You are a lucky lucky lucky guy
Most of the time I'm happy too... actually but the times when I'm not well...let's not go into that
As it is in everything we create our own reality and our view changes with our change in perspective. The truth is that our inner self, our soul, our spirit does not age or change, that is why the mirror sometimes can be a surprise, for we are not always prepared for what happens to our human form.
Of course! I'd love to do that.
On the othter hand it might turn out to be a really shocking experience since we might have to realize that other people perceive us in a way that differs *strongly* from our image about ourselves.
And there are actually many persons I clearly prefer to *not* know what they *really* think of me...it just might ruin our relationship forever.
Hahaha, I was so thinking about the "why now?" part before even getting to it :P
The comments about being into someone else's mind reminded me of "Being John Malcovich", weird and cool movie.
I'd also like to see myself through the eyes of someone else, from a different angle. Same thing with hearing my voice, it's not the same thing as being recorded (same as the photographs' example).
Interesting post, RM, and very nice picture to go with it.
W.
Mark: When I think of myself outside of my physical form, the 'me' that exists in my head. I don't think I have ever attached a face to it.. it's almost like a faceless entity just a confused pool of random thoughts
Silvia: I can think of a few relationships getting ruined...in both cases, them seeing them seeing themselves from my eyes and me seeing myself from theirs
Wonder: I always get so freaked when I hear my voice on tape... it's totally different from what it sounds to me. It's a pretty disturbing sensation
But what I really want to know is what our face looks like to someone else...our physical self
keep in mind, when you are looking in the mirror, you are stopped, or centering in on something.. ie.. hair eyemakeup zit...whatever... you never get to see the living breathing you,,, because you are focused on a part of you... try looking at a movie or video of yourself... how different is that from what you see in the mirror????
You are so right we almost never see ourselves holistically we mostly concentrate on parts.
As far as movies and pictures are concerned sometimes what you see is nice and sometimes it's really awful..
But you know pictures can glamorize things.. especially if they are for your portfolio or something... they are a dolled up version of yourself... almost like heightened reality which you reach when everything is forced to look perfect - the perfect lighting, the perfect make-up, the perfect photography... not your daily reality where such perfection is time-consuming and sometimes not very interesting...
I agree with Paisley. I have never seen a video of myself, but when you look at yourself in the mirror, or in a picture, it's sometimes difficult to capture your ...essence - which, I'm thinking, is best displayed while you are in motion in one form or another. I really do think that colors the way others see us physically, more than we realize.
Yes, i heard (or read) something years ago that concurs with what paisley and hollygl wrote. Basically we can't see ourselves in a movie or video because we are only used to seeing ourselves stationary, without movement. The same for seeing ourselves from different angles in pics etc. - what we look like from that angle usually comes as a surprise because it's an angle we don't get to see (I know I am not a fan of my profile - I'll avoid that like the plague).
Another thing to keep in mind is the more we get to know someone, often what we see when we look at them changes. How many people do have you met where initially you thought they were unbeleiveably good looking but after getting to know more about them and not liking it, suddenly they just don't seem as good looking? It happens the other way around of course too. I can only guess that this also effects the way we see ourselves.
So Random, if you do somehow aquire this ability, choose your Husband's eyes to look through.
someone said what we see in the mirror is the way we wanna see ourself..
it would be good if we can see thru other eyes..the true perception but but wont it create a distance with other ppl around...
as quasar9 said if we can read other thoughts..i feel we are better what we are now..if we start reading other ppl thots..it will b a mad mad world...even though other side of person doesn't mean that way and the moment it just came as passing thought ...whole relation wil get affected
very nice n interesting blog :)..hope u wont mind..m blog rolling ya :)
hello, thanks for your very useful comments.
hoping to see you more often.
I think it would depend on the eyes.. I was baby-sitting once when the kid asked "why do you dress like a granny?" OUCH! LOL
But.. on the other hand I would love to see myself through my husband's eyes. :-) I look at me and think "Argh! FAT! OLD!" then I go downstairs and he looks at me and gasps.. sighs.. and says "You are sooo beautiful."
He always makes my day. :-)
Hollygl: I know what you mean...sometimes you meet people who look good and its colored more by the animation with which they talk and is something that is attractive outside of their physical features
Tigergirl: There used to be this girl in college which I thought was really pretty when I first saw her but her stupidity and bitchy attitude just made her appear crass to me later on...
Dream catcher: Thanks...I wouldn't mind at all. It's a scary thought actually... finding out what people actually thought of you ;)
James Michael: Any time...
Michelle: lol...kids say the funniest things.. I remember asking this little girl what she wanted to be when she grew up..she looked at me and very seriously said...'rich'.
I too would love to see myself through hubby's eyes...but only on my 'looking good' days ;)
yeah it is...sometimes u also get feel that u have said ur thots aloud and the person infront of u actually interpreting it....t did scare me..but anyhow ..guess its a long ask :)
Thanx for ur view reg my blog ..:)n thanx for adding too :)
I am not sure that I presently have the capacity to think so deeply. The "why do we cry in movies" post wore me out with what all is going on in my life now.
However, the person we see in the mirror is a opposite reflection. What appears to us as part on the left or a mole on the right cheek, is opposite to everyone else who sees you without a mirror.
Therefore, when we look good in the mirror, we probably look opposite of good to others. Yeah, I know but that is all I can muster right now.
Wow Jeff I never thought on the opposite lines but it makes so much sense. Thats so true though!
So now I must think I'm looking bad to be actually lookin' good ;)
Yeah, it is like the George Costanza thing (from Seinfeld). The only time he had kind of success was to do the complete opposite of his instincts.
Also, have you noticed that we don't look like ourselves in pictures - we just can't seem to look as good as we think we should?
Well, there is the obvious exception of your profile picture. You know that's good. :)
...well thats after a lot of work.. professional make-up.. professional lighting... professional photography... but thanks anyway...
But going by the opposite theory I must actually look the opposite ;):)
I couldn't find another way to admire you. So I just translated it into Chinese and published on my blog. :)
hi Bridge... nice to see you here... hope the blog is coming along great
No, pictures aren't opposite, just mirrors. :) Your picture is how others see you.
Thought provoking post. I never really thought about how people saw me before or for that matter how I see myself. -In a detached manner that is. Thanks for the karma push Random Magus.
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